Akira

[suir1000]

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.user.information.
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Username: Suir1000

Gender: Male

Other Character(s): -
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.canon.character.
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Only applicable to canons.

Audition Thread:
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.general.character.information.
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Name: Akira

Alias: Kira

Age: 14

Gender: Male

Race: Nobody

Alignment: Good

Origin: Radiant Garden

Appearance: He has straight hair that has the color of a plum, along with a sleeveless, black jacket (that matches his pants) that showed his muscular chest. Akira also has pink eyes and a small nose including a small mouth. His facial expression is always normal and he has a soft, regular, upside face. His physique is rather muscular and same with his apricot skin.

Personality: He is serene and kind, you will rarely see him be talkative.
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.battle.information.
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Class: Warrior

Weapons: Silver Claymore

Weapon Name: Blade of Light

Weapon Description: The Blade of Light actually describes itself; it is a gifted sword that was exchanged for defeating 250 Heartless, shimmering in each & every slaughter. The greatest thing about this sword is that it was made from a kid in kindergarten who was actually going to make the Blade of Light a telephone. Clearly, you can see the difference of this silver-hilted, silver (meaning the alloy, the color is really a very light black) claymore and a telephone.

Unique Notes: -

Abilities: Raging Seduction - His claymore creates a blazing aura and if hit thrice, you will be fallen. However, it can be used in a worst-case scenario.

Base Ability: "Flare!": When this ability is used, he yells out "Flare" and a single ember is struck by Akira's adversary. It crisps into a heavily powered flame which causes a dreadful burn on his opponent.

Sub Abilities: - Magma Rain: With the shimmering claymore, Akira can cause a massive amount of fire drops exactly like rain. First, he generates a ball (as big as a clock) made of the fire from his sword, then he explodes it into microscopic pieces that stabs his opponent.

Fire Cloning: By sending out a secretive fire droplet on the ground and it creates a duplicate of himself so it will trick his opponent.

Absorbment / DNA cletch: Akira has the ability to evolve himself into a person he is fighting already, if they are in melee combat. First, he must attack him and secondly, he must be in a worst-case scenario. If hit, he can have access to the known abilities that they (meaning his opponent) have performed in the battle already. If dodged, he reverts from his transformation and can not use that transformation for the whole fight.

Items:

Equips:

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.story.mode.
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History: Akira was raised by regular townfolks. They did not know of heartlesses, nobodies or any of the such. He lived in the suburbs and it was a completely safe area. Akira's family never paid attention to him so he wanted to do stuff on his own. They only cared about his education and if he is sick. He had to go out and buy his own food and his own clothes. He used to know about Tidus and met him once, but then he was brought back home from his older brother. Technically, he started out on his own social life. It sounds like fun, but really it wasn't for him. Then, one night, he went to go get a glass of water. Then, a Heartless tackled him to the ground and stole his heart with censorshipping details (ramming through his chest and pulling out his heart). However, he had the chance to leap to his Father's Sacred Sword and use it, but didn't use it at the same time. The Sword helped him by doing its own work, which persuaded him into learning sword techniques. Momentarily, he disappeared into a portal and forgot about his family, friends and even the sword. However, his only thought was that he will kill evil. Even if it were his parents or friends.
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.other.info.
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[Medy]

First off, you're going to need to read through the rules again with regards to some of your battle information details. Read this again and when you're done, read the "Abilities" section on this page. You should be able to see where you've gone wrong.

Just in case you don't, I'll type it out here.

Basically, the first problem is with your abilities. The system works in that you have a "base ability", which sums up your overall arsenal of powers. It's not actually an ability itself, but it describes the basis of your powers and what they revolve around; whether it be an element or a certain other attribute. So, as a simple example, a base ability could be "Fire" and then the three sub-abilities would be moves or skills that revolve around fire. That's generally how it works. As long as the three subs are clearly linked to the base, then they're fine.

The next problem is the "Items" and "Equips" section. In the template, it clearly says that the section is only to be touched by staff members, not normal members. Basically, we have a shop system where you can purchase items to help you in the RPG. When you purchase them, you can make a thread in the "Save Point" asking to purchase the item. A staff member will then arrive, subtract the munny from your account and then edit it into whichever character you want to give the item to. The same applies for equips, although you can win items and equips in special quests and events.

Basically, remove what you have under both the "Items" and "Equips" section.




Appearance... so your guy looks like this? Obviously, he doesn't, but the lack of detail in your appearance could lead anybody reading the profile to believe that he looks like anything. Your description is very basic and you don't give an awful lot of information to state what attire he wears, or even his complexion and build aside from the fact that he's got a muscular chest.

We require a good paragraph of detail as a minimum for characters, which is a well-developed description that can at least give us a decent image of what your character looks like. Redo, please.




History... although we don't have any real requirements, we do expect a decent amount of background for your character, not a simple few sentences that describe little about his life and then all of a sudden bursting into him getting involved with KH. You'll need more here.

[suir1000]

Edit!
You are very wrong about that. I put effort into his appearance such as his UPSIDE, SOFT APRICOT skin. Why is he purple in that picture? I already said his shirt matches with his pants.

THIS is how he looks like: i190.photobucket.com/albums/z247/skye126/anime%20guys/cuteanime3.jpg

[Memories]

Well since, Medy is officially gone I'm going to have to finish this up...or not. So you complained about the appearance, which I'm going to let go since I'm not getting involved with what, Medy was actually trying to tell you.

Rather than complaining, read the rules, and edit your profile according to what, Medy had previously described. Honestly you should probably rethink how you've made your character. There wasn't much time or care put into this. I want you to look at some of the profiles in the perfected drafts board to get an idea of what we expect in terms of detail, and creativity.

[Memories]

This has been in here more than a week and the profile remains unedited. PM if you want this back. Otherwise...

Denied, Locked, Whatever