Post by zerozx on Jun 19, 2008 23:52:59 GMT -5
This is a piece of fan fiction that I wrote in an hour to submit to a contest on a Forum RPG. It uses characters from .hack//Sign, original characters from the Forum RPG, and some canon and non-canon fields from .hack. It's not great, in fact I think it's pretty bad, but I just wanted to get criticism from people and to see what my weak spots are.. well, here it is:
The Calling
A soft, beautiful whisper, into the night sky, spoken from the words of a beautiful goddess, gleaming with the mystical light of the night sky, an aura of serenity being produced around her, able to be felt from miles away from this grand sight. All the pureness of the world seemed to be flowing throughout her. She had with luscious green hair and light blue eyes, along with curved eyebrows and lips as gentle as an angel. She wears an orange dress with dark orange on the edges, softly but firmly wrapped around her beautiful tan skin, and a pair of brown, leather boots and gauntlets reaching to the bottom of her knees and the center of her forearm.
The woman was standing in the middle of Garden Stadium, yet there was no audience to look upon such a radiant sight. But with one look towards the celestial figure, one could think of nothing but sorrow. The woman was sad, tears being shed through her beautiful sky like eyes, swaying with the wind along with her hair and the edges of her dress, being lunged to sides of her face then thrown into the midst of the gushing winds. As she closes her eyes, the tears still making their way out, she holds her hands together and places them upon her chest, as if she's about to cast an enchantment or say a prayer.
Meanwhile...
Mac Anu :: Tsukasa was in quite the familiar place for the first time in a long time. He didn't realize that's it been about 2 years since the events of a century occurred, revolving around himself. Tsukasa was somewhat sorrowful at the sights of Mac Anu. He walked down the street on the edge of the river, and he didn't even catch a glimpse of one of his most incredible friends Subaru. This only made his day worse, but he walked on. He then caught a glimpse of a female player and what appeared to be her companion holding each other, while the female player was crying in the chest of the male player. The male player was only looking at a grunty who seemed incredibly ill, then, after a few seconds of observation, the grunty started de-materializing, and then was gone in a matter of seconds, only worsening Tsukasa's day.
As he neared the bridge, in his sights were three players quarreling over an unknown matter. Two of the players were screaming back and forth nonstop, while the third player was a little scared, but attempted to stop the quarrel. The two players gave one final look at each other, then walked their separate ways, leaving the third player crumbled on the floor, with his face dug deep into his arms which were resting on his bent knees. Another event which worsened Tsukasa's day. Tsukasa rested his arms on the edge of the bridge, and reflected upon the past few events, and how one could feel so lonely after ten minutes of being in a Safe Zone. Tsukasa lowered his head, and an artificial tear came out of his left eye, expressing his already obvious sad state. Then, all of a sudden...
Carmina Gadelica :: Mimiru was in a place she knew all too well. Carmina Gadelica was one of her favorite places to go to, and she was always just taken aback by the sights of the colorful lights, and the smiles all around the town on the faces of almost every player in the area. She knew that today was going to be a great days as she interlocked her fingers and placed her hands behind her head, taking giant leaps rather than regular steps, for she was in a somewhat playful mood.
As she was walking down the street of shops, she lowered her hands, and began a regular walking pattern with a smile, while she was enjoying the marvelous designs of the inscriptions on each building, and the beautiful and eccentric outfits of the players all around the streets of Carmina Gadelica. Mimiru thought absolutely nothing could go wrong with this day, as she was watching one of the most perfect scenes of her life. Then, all of a sudden...
Evanilice was walking around Carmina Gadelica in her usual boyish outfit, and was quite cheerful at the time. She just successfully and single handedly defeated a dungeon in the same server, and raised her level quite a bit. She was a strong woman and she proved to herself she did not have to be under the confinements of a man to show her worth. She was just as capable at defeating monsters and going through dungeons on her own as any male character who walked in these parts.
Evanilice sat down on a bench. She closed her eyes and attempted to rest a little, since she was a little tired from the dungeon raid. Thinking she had enough of a rest, she opened her eyes to see the hustle and bustle of the people of Carmina Gadelica, getting a look at a strange character dressed in brownish red armor, had a huge sword, and seemed to be kicking her feet in the air instead of walking. She sighed, and thought laughed at the fact that's it's possible a 10 year old child could look like an adult and be one of the strongest players in the game. Then, all of a sudden...
Σ Dominant Fierce Citadel :: Bear teleported into a field he had never been to before, but heard from quite a reliable source that it was a great place to train, especially for someone at his level. After he walked away from the Chaos Gate, he entered the little hole leading past the river of molten lava and into the courtyard of the grand fortress. Before going out of the hole, he took a peek at his surroundings, and was very surprised at the number of soldiers which were guarding this three story fortress. It seemed like there was something quite valuable inside the fortress, and Bear was determined to find out.
He isn't the type to just storm into a place, but he believed if he ran up to the fortress, and stormed inside, he could seal the entrance with a piece of wood, keeping the soldiers away, and keeping him from harm's way. As soon as he got out of the tiny hole he sprinted with full force to the entrance of the fortress. Dodging the various projectile weapons that were thrown his way, Bear got to the entrance and inside the fortress quite easily, but it was sealing off the entrance that was going to be hard. Luckily, he found a piece of wood which, once inserted into something holding both doors, would seal the place off, and disallow any unwanted visitors. Placing the wood in the designated spot, he turned around and looked upon the vastness of the fortress, and was completely astonished, but, realizing he had no time for that, he took a few steps forward. Then, all of a sudden...
Ω Courageous Blinded Daredevil :: BT gates into a place all too familiar to her. This is one of the places where she likes to train the most, and she gates into just as a player is walking down the path to destruction. She was tempted to scream something quite gloomy to the player, but she decided not to because she has to train. She decides to stay up on the highland area instead of trying her luck in the valleys of deaths. She closes her eyes, gets into fighting position, and chants a spell on a pile of sticks, making them freeze together. She then does another motion with her weapon, and the frozen pile of sticks break apart into several different pieces, making a slight grin appear on BT's face. Then, all of a sudden...
Xepher walks down the long path to the place where the path splits up into three different paths. Not knowing which one to choose, Xepher just randomly decides to go down the middle path. Not knowing what lies down the path he chose, he decides to walk a little slower and take some caution in his movements, for he had never ventured through this place before. As he is walking down the valley, he sees three ominous glows in the far distance. He suspects them to be enemies, and hides in some bushes until they get a little closer. With his agility and stealth, he runs to them without hesitation, slicing all three of them with one stroke as he passes them, finishing with a cool pose as they all disintegrate. With a smile on his face, Xepher proceeds with confidence that he will get through this area no matter what. Then, all of a sudden...
Θ Pleasurable Relaxed Meadow :: Ancient finds himself in an unfamiliar place, but he knows that this challenge will be somewhat fun. He got a tip from a friend of his that to reach the dungeon of this area, he must kill at least ten monsters to even be able to reach the dungeon. Ancient was attempting to save his friend, who is in quite a bind, but managed to hide herself from a the monsters in the dungeon. He was determined to defeat the monsters and find his friend, and that's exactly what he was going to do.
Seeing many monster gates pop up in the area, Ancient was more than a little ticked off now. These monsters were the ones who is keeping his friend trapped in a place full of danger and horror, a place he is sure she doesn't want to be in. He dashed at the monsters at full speed, slaying them one by one. After almost half a minute, Ancient had slain twelve monsters, and was definitely ready to enter the dungeon which kept his friend captive. He opened the incredibly large doors of the dungeon, and saw exactly where his friend was hiding............
Then, all of a sudden...
Each player was teleported to the outskirts of Garden Stadium. Tsukasa was worried as to why he was even here. Mimiru was looking around trying to analyze exactly what the place was teleported to. Evanelice took out her weapon as soon as she got to the place, and looked left and right to see whether there were any enemies nearby. Bear looked around attempting to analyze his situation, coming to the conclusion that someone had teleported him here so that they may converse with him, though he had no clue as to why or who. BT was quite irritated that she was teleported to a place she hardly recognized and she doesn't even know who or why. Xepher didn't know exactly why he was teleported, or where, but he was a little happy that something out of the norm was happening to him, something that might turn out to be quite the adventure. Ancient immediately put his hand on his sword and analyzed his surroundings, and since there wasn't anything hostile, he decided to move on.
The 7 players saw a woman out in the middle of the field, but as each of them ran closer to the woman, each saw 6 other figures whom they could not figure exactly what they were until each player was about 10 meters away from the woman, all in a circle. Each player took out their weapons. What was incredibly strange was that instead of each player seeing 6 other players who apparently were teleported to the same area for more likely than not the same reason, they saw 6 monsters created from shadow with bodies like a fiery black blaze, whom each had one-of-a-kind, appealing weapons. Then, the battle began...
Nearly half an hour later, the woman was on her knees, shedding an amount of tears that could fill up an ocean. The battlefield wasn't made of numbers and data. It was a real battlefield, and the sight of blood and the stench of the dead could be seen and smelt all around. Tsukasa had a small blade in his thigh and another small blade pierced through his chest. Mimiru's body was lying in various frozen pieces dripping with water. Evanelice had a sword which attempted to slice diagonally through her torso stuck right in the middle, with an incredibly weird hilt which looked like the inner workings of a clock. Bear whole body was turned into a dark purplish color and his mouth was oozing with a poison like substance. BT's body was on the floor, decapitated, with a katana and her head right beside the body. Xepher's body was almost completely cut in two, with a massive blade at the end of the cut. Ancient's body could be seen with a medium sized blade stabbed right into his neck.
The woman couldn't stop crying over the tragedy which she couldn't prevent, again. She raised the top half of her body from the ground, and reached into the pocket of her dress. She pulled out a piece of parchment that said: “You will never talk, you will never walk, and you will spend an eternity watching countless tragedies because of you. You are despicable, and you will rot here forever, watching the deaths of countless players, and humans.”. As she read the piece of parchment, her eyes closed, and more tears rushed down her face. She was a woman unable to talk, bound to her place forever, and cursed with the curse of watching the terrible battle, which just finished a few minutes ago, happen over and over again for all eternity, the worst of the worst crawling as an image in her mind forever.
In the real world, the biggest and most mysterious tragedy happened in the country of Japan. 7 people whom all lived scattered throughout the country, and the only means of connection were through a popular MMORPG entitled “The World” were brutally and mysteriously killed in some of the most gruesome ways in the history of Japan. The police were completely dumbfounded at what happened, and closed the case labelling it unresolved. The thing the police did not know was that the people who died were the people controlling Tsukasa, Mimiru, Evanelice, Bear, BT, Xepher, and Ancient, and each one of them died in the exact same way they died in the gruesome battle in Garden Stadium.
The Calling
A soft, beautiful whisper, into the night sky, spoken from the words of a beautiful goddess, gleaming with the mystical light of the night sky, an aura of serenity being produced around her, able to be felt from miles away from this grand sight. All the pureness of the world seemed to be flowing throughout her. She had with luscious green hair and light blue eyes, along with curved eyebrows and lips as gentle as an angel. She wears an orange dress with dark orange on the edges, softly but firmly wrapped around her beautiful tan skin, and a pair of brown, leather boots and gauntlets reaching to the bottom of her knees and the center of her forearm.
The woman was standing in the middle of Garden Stadium, yet there was no audience to look upon such a radiant sight. But with one look towards the celestial figure, one could think of nothing but sorrow. The woman was sad, tears being shed through her beautiful sky like eyes, swaying with the wind along with her hair and the edges of her dress, being lunged to sides of her face then thrown into the midst of the gushing winds. As she closes her eyes, the tears still making their way out, she holds her hands together and places them upon her chest, as if she's about to cast an enchantment or say a prayer.
Aquellos que oyen pueden aquí mí, escuchar, y escuchar bien. Le suplico para venir a mi ayuda. Rescáteme de este tormento eterno, de este mal espiritual que ha quemado mi tiempo de corazón y tiempo otra vez. Por favor los .. me ayudan...
Those who hear may here me, listen, and listen well. I plead to you to come to my aid. Rescue me from this everlasting torment, from this spiritual evil that has burned my heart time and time again. Please.. help me...
Meanwhile...
Mac Anu :: Tsukasa was in quite the familiar place for the first time in a long time. He didn't realize that's it been about 2 years since the events of a century occurred, revolving around himself. Tsukasa was somewhat sorrowful at the sights of Mac Anu. He walked down the street on the edge of the river, and he didn't even catch a glimpse of one of his most incredible friends Subaru. This only made his day worse, but he walked on. He then caught a glimpse of a female player and what appeared to be her companion holding each other, while the female player was crying in the chest of the male player. The male player was only looking at a grunty who seemed incredibly ill, then, after a few seconds of observation, the grunty started de-materializing, and then was gone in a matter of seconds, only worsening Tsukasa's day.
As he neared the bridge, in his sights were three players quarreling over an unknown matter. Two of the players were screaming back and forth nonstop, while the third player was a little scared, but attempted to stop the quarrel. The two players gave one final look at each other, then walked their separate ways, leaving the third player crumbled on the floor, with his face dug deep into his arms which were resting on his bent knees. Another event which worsened Tsukasa's day. Tsukasa rested his arms on the edge of the bridge, and reflected upon the past few events, and how one could feel so lonely after ten minutes of being in a Safe Zone. Tsukasa lowered his head, and an artificial tear came out of his left eye, expressing his already obvious sad state. Then, all of a sudden...
Carmina Gadelica :: Mimiru was in a place she knew all too well. Carmina Gadelica was one of her favorite places to go to, and she was always just taken aback by the sights of the colorful lights, and the smiles all around the town on the faces of almost every player in the area. She knew that today was going to be a great days as she interlocked her fingers and placed her hands behind her head, taking giant leaps rather than regular steps, for she was in a somewhat playful mood.
As she was walking down the street of shops, she lowered her hands, and began a regular walking pattern with a smile, while she was enjoying the marvelous designs of the inscriptions on each building, and the beautiful and eccentric outfits of the players all around the streets of Carmina Gadelica. Mimiru thought absolutely nothing could go wrong with this day, as she was watching one of the most perfect scenes of her life. Then, all of a sudden...
Evanilice was walking around Carmina Gadelica in her usual boyish outfit, and was quite cheerful at the time. She just successfully and single handedly defeated a dungeon in the same server, and raised her level quite a bit. She was a strong woman and she proved to herself she did not have to be under the confinements of a man to show her worth. She was just as capable at defeating monsters and going through dungeons on her own as any male character who walked in these parts.
Evanilice sat down on a bench. She closed her eyes and attempted to rest a little, since she was a little tired from the dungeon raid. Thinking she had enough of a rest, she opened her eyes to see the hustle and bustle of the people of Carmina Gadelica, getting a look at a strange character dressed in brownish red armor, had a huge sword, and seemed to be kicking her feet in the air instead of walking. She sighed, and thought laughed at the fact that's it's possible a 10 year old child could look like an adult and be one of the strongest players in the game. Then, all of a sudden...
Σ Dominant Fierce Citadel :: Bear teleported into a field he had never been to before, but heard from quite a reliable source that it was a great place to train, especially for someone at his level. After he walked away from the Chaos Gate, he entered the little hole leading past the river of molten lava and into the courtyard of the grand fortress. Before going out of the hole, he took a peek at his surroundings, and was very surprised at the number of soldiers which were guarding this three story fortress. It seemed like there was something quite valuable inside the fortress, and Bear was determined to find out.
He isn't the type to just storm into a place, but he believed if he ran up to the fortress, and stormed inside, he could seal the entrance with a piece of wood, keeping the soldiers away, and keeping him from harm's way. As soon as he got out of the tiny hole he sprinted with full force to the entrance of the fortress. Dodging the various projectile weapons that were thrown his way, Bear got to the entrance and inside the fortress quite easily, but it was sealing off the entrance that was going to be hard. Luckily, he found a piece of wood which, once inserted into something holding both doors, would seal the place off, and disallow any unwanted visitors. Placing the wood in the designated spot, he turned around and looked upon the vastness of the fortress, and was completely astonished, but, realizing he had no time for that, he took a few steps forward. Then, all of a sudden...
Ω Courageous Blinded Daredevil :: BT gates into a place all too familiar to her. This is one of the places where she likes to train the most, and she gates into just as a player is walking down the path to destruction. She was tempted to scream something quite gloomy to the player, but she decided not to because she has to train. She decides to stay up on the highland area instead of trying her luck in the valleys of deaths. She closes her eyes, gets into fighting position, and chants a spell on a pile of sticks, making them freeze together. She then does another motion with her weapon, and the frozen pile of sticks break apart into several different pieces, making a slight grin appear on BT's face. Then, all of a sudden...
Xepher walks down the long path to the place where the path splits up into three different paths. Not knowing which one to choose, Xepher just randomly decides to go down the middle path. Not knowing what lies down the path he chose, he decides to walk a little slower and take some caution in his movements, for he had never ventured through this place before. As he is walking down the valley, he sees three ominous glows in the far distance. He suspects them to be enemies, and hides in some bushes until they get a little closer. With his agility and stealth, he runs to them without hesitation, slicing all three of them with one stroke as he passes them, finishing with a cool pose as they all disintegrate. With a smile on his face, Xepher proceeds with confidence that he will get through this area no matter what. Then, all of a sudden...
Θ Pleasurable Relaxed Meadow :: Ancient finds himself in an unfamiliar place, but he knows that this challenge will be somewhat fun. He got a tip from a friend of his that to reach the dungeon of this area, he must kill at least ten monsters to even be able to reach the dungeon. Ancient was attempting to save his friend, who is in quite a bind, but managed to hide herself from a the monsters in the dungeon. He was determined to defeat the monsters and find his friend, and that's exactly what he was going to do.
Seeing many monster gates pop up in the area, Ancient was more than a little ticked off now. These monsters were the ones who is keeping his friend trapped in a place full of danger and horror, a place he is sure she doesn't want to be in. He dashed at the monsters at full speed, slaying them one by one. After almost half a minute, Ancient had slain twelve monsters, and was definitely ready to enter the dungeon which kept his friend captive. He opened the incredibly large doors of the dungeon, and saw exactly where his friend was hiding............
Then, all of a sudden...
Each player was teleported to the outskirts of Garden Stadium. Tsukasa was worried as to why he was even here. Mimiru was looking around trying to analyze exactly what the place was teleported to. Evanelice took out her weapon as soon as she got to the place, and looked left and right to see whether there were any enemies nearby. Bear looked around attempting to analyze his situation, coming to the conclusion that someone had teleported him here so that they may converse with him, though he had no clue as to why or who. BT was quite irritated that she was teleported to a place she hardly recognized and she doesn't even know who or why. Xepher didn't know exactly why he was teleported, or where, but he was a little happy that something out of the norm was happening to him, something that might turn out to be quite the adventure. Ancient immediately put his hand on his sword and analyzed his surroundings, and since there wasn't anything hostile, he decided to move on.
The 7 players saw a woman out in the middle of the field, but as each of them ran closer to the woman, each saw 6 other figures whom they could not figure exactly what they were until each player was about 10 meters away from the woman, all in a circle. Each player took out their weapons. What was incredibly strange was that instead of each player seeing 6 other players who apparently were teleported to the same area for more likely than not the same reason, they saw 6 monsters created from shadow with bodies like a fiery black blaze, whom each had one-of-a-kind, appealing weapons. Then, the battle began...
Nearly half an hour later, the woman was on her knees, shedding an amount of tears that could fill up an ocean. The battlefield wasn't made of numbers and data. It was a real battlefield, and the sight of blood and the stench of the dead could be seen and smelt all around. Tsukasa had a small blade in his thigh and another small blade pierced through his chest. Mimiru's body was lying in various frozen pieces dripping with water. Evanelice had a sword which attempted to slice diagonally through her torso stuck right in the middle, with an incredibly weird hilt which looked like the inner workings of a clock. Bear whole body was turned into a dark purplish color and his mouth was oozing with a poison like substance. BT's body was on the floor, decapitated, with a katana and her head right beside the body. Xepher's body was almost completely cut in two, with a massive blade at the end of the cut. Ancient's body could be seen with a medium sized blade stabbed right into his neck.
The woman couldn't stop crying over the tragedy which she couldn't prevent, again. She raised the top half of her body from the ground, and reached into the pocket of her dress. She pulled out a piece of parchment that said: “You will never talk, you will never walk, and you will spend an eternity watching countless tragedies because of you. You are despicable, and you will rot here forever, watching the deaths of countless players, and humans.”. As she read the piece of parchment, her eyes closed, and more tears rushed down her face. She was a woman unable to talk, bound to her place forever, and cursed with the curse of watching the terrible battle, which just finished a few minutes ago, happen over and over again for all eternity, the worst of the worst crawling as an image in her mind forever.
In the real world, the biggest and most mysterious tragedy happened in the country of Japan. 7 people whom all lived scattered throughout the country, and the only means of connection were through a popular MMORPG entitled “The World” were brutally and mysteriously killed in some of the most gruesome ways in the history of Japan. The police were completely dumbfounded at what happened, and closed the case labelling it unresolved. The thing the police did not know was that the people who died were the people controlling Tsukasa, Mimiru, Evanelice, Bear, BT, Xepher, and Ancient, and each one of them died in the exact same way they died in the gruesome battle in Garden Stadium.
I did post in shades of grey if anyone even remembers that lmao