The Wasteland [TRAINING]

[nascent]

What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
Come in under the shadow of this red rock,
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you...

[/font]
~An excerpt from T.S. Elliot's The Waste Land~[/color][/center]



There's a rumor that's whispered among those few scattered villages which dwell at the wasteland's border. The wasteland... a place without name, without past, offering only the bleak horizon and endless miles of lifeless, dessicated soil as cracked and broken as shattered wood. Here, there is little life - even less that comes out during the day. The surface is too barren even for the rugged cactus and the defiant brittlebush to take root... yet, the whispers speak of something built out in the unforgiving wastes. Something hidden, secretive...

"If yours is the path of power," they say to those who ask. "Then venture out into the wasteland. Search for a place where the ground sparkles in the day and glows in the moonlight... though I warn you, very few ever find this place. Trust your instincts, and you may be fortunate. Those who find the hallowed ground will be offered a road to hidden strength."

Your journey begins in the wastelands. The sun is hot, the air dry, and the land unkind. Test your resolve... and you may just find the hallowed ground.





(OOC: This is a training thread for Dante, focused upon the advanced arts of RP and Sparring. Others may join as well, but please PM me first and formally request training.

Your first post will be your character searching the wastes and eventually, after several days, finding the so-called "hallowed ground" I described. This is to help me get a good idea of your descriptive writing skills. From there, one of my characters will appear and show your character the path into a hidden dojo, which is where most of your training will take place.

And with that taken care of... let the training COMMENCE!)

[Dante]

The sun beat down with harsh intentions on the pitiable young man that had began his long trek through the wastelands. The ground was cracked and jagged formations protruding from the dryed earth he walked on. Barely any life could be seen other than the occasional dead tree and even that didn't make a slight indent on the monotoned scenery. There was no water to be seen anywhere at the time, so Dante, the young man mentioned earlier, was glad that he had packed enough water for himself. The horizon was blurred with a haze that made him believe he was halucinating.

Dante smacked his lips and mouth, attempting to remove the sharp, tastless ooze that hung from the roof of his mouth. He was extremely thirsty, but he had to preserve his water to survive until night when it became much cooler. He had made it a plan to only hike through the wasteland at day unless otherwise changed. He was sweating and the smell of his body was reeking from a single day of his journey. He had no map, no compass, no tent or anything like that. He just had water, a lighter, and some food.

Dante was out here for adventure, something he hadn't experienced in quite some time. Madam hadn't bothered him either, which was peculiar. The sun was still high in the sky, although it was near the end of the afternoon. This was technically his second day of traveling through this barren area, but it was the official first day, since he had rested for about half of the day, yesterday. His feet had already started to ache and his head had become slightly lighter, but nothing to serious.

Dante wiped a few beads of rolling sweat from his damp brow and looked around. He sighed; still nothing. Was something going to finally appear? He wondered about his life sometimes, contemplating the fact that no one may ever find him if he died in this deserted terrain. The only clouds in the sky hadn't moved for several hours and part of it was actually dissapearing, not setting off a good sign. This was where Dante wanted to rest for a bit, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was going to find that "hallowed ground" that those people were talking about.

Would there be water and food!? What about clean clothes and treasures beyond all of Dante's imagination!? Would there be a map that showed him a quicker route to his home or a portal that suddenly placed him there with all of his treasures!? The possibilities were endless, but instead of squealing like an Amercian school girl on her first date, he kepth imself calm and collected, just like always. If he was going to find this place, he would have to save his energy for something of more worth.

4 hours later/ Evening

Dante had set up a fire of broken branches he had collected along the way. Of course, he had to break them off himself when he found the trees, but either way, he had fire wood. The trapped inferno blazed in the night sky and warmed Dante. The night was cold and he knew not to travel in the freezing night. If something just so happened to be slithering across the ground, he would never see it or hear it and would step on it.

He was beginning his first drinks of water, sipping them in slowly and letting those pleasing sips quench his dire thirst for this elixer of life. When he finally put it down, he tightly placed the cap on and placed it on the riggid ground, sighing as he did so. hissssssss.... *rattle*. Dante looked around. This was the time for the animals to come out and feast on ill-omened prey.

Dante slowly reached for a stick he had saved for later, in case the fire went out, and lit it on the end, creating a torch-like object. He shone the light of the fire on the ground, looking for the snake. He knew all too well what type of snake it was. Rattlesnake. They were one of the only types of creepy crawlies that terrified him. He hated the rattles and the distinct hissing sound they made while slithering around.

As planned, he saw the long, gleaming body of that deadly creature. What to do now? The snake was going to get him if he didn't do something quickly, so Dante did the only thing his body told him to do; Stab it to death while burning it. Dante wielded the stick like a sword, keeping the light on the snake which was now making its way to the warm fire. Dante came up to it very... very slowly, but kept his distance as he stuck the snake with the flaming branch, jumping a foot away as he watched the snake struggle to free itself from the grasp of the stick and the fire.

Dante sighed as the snake finally became inanimate, feeling somewhat rellieved of his fear. He set out his sleeping bag, crawling into it for a nice, snugg sleep near the fire.


The next Day: Official Day 2/ Technical Day 3
Another long day of journey began with Dante folding up his bag and taking his water with him. The fire had gone out, good thing, too. It was hot as heck in the morning, but Dante was in for the worst later today. At twelve p.m., he would have to create a shelter out of his sleeping bag and branches to shield him from the sun's rays. He really didn't need sunburns at the moment, nor did he need any more tanning.

He started walking north. He had walked north since he started and planned on staying north until the end of this journey. He had marked the direction with a two branches creating an arrow to where he would walk. He picked these up and started up on his journey once more. He yawned loudly, probably waking the poor animals who were attempting to get some sleep. He was pretty tired, but he had to do this. It was his goal and he would reach it.

He saw no signs of life still, but he kept on his path until night hit upon him again. This time he had to be more careful, though. If he fell asleep and a rattlesnake suddenly came back up again, he wouldn't be able to defend himself. The snake would invite friends and they would have a buffet fit for a king. They would have a Dante meal.

[OOC: I'll have to stop here, for now. Sorry. I'm just reaching for ideas now. I'll post after you post something like no clouds, or a sandstorm coming my way. I'm really out of ideas.]

[nascent]

(OOC: Relax, you've done more than enough already! I'll take it from here.)



As if fate were playing a cruel joke, the all-too-familiar rattle and hiss soon emerged from somewhere nearby. Out from beneath a large flat rock slithered the scaly predator, its eyes locked on Dante as its body wove rapidly back and forth over the ground. It was moving fast...

...that is, until it began twitching in place, then stopped moving altogether. Oh, and there was a throwing knife pinning it's skull to the ground, too.

"Let me guess..." A youthful-sounding voice came from atop a nearby rock formation. Kassom grinned, looking down on the poor wandering soul who'd made it this far. "You're looking for the hallowed ground, eh?"

He leapt off the rock's edge, sliding down the jagged incline like a snowboarder sans snow (and board) before jumping off, landing right next to the rattler. The roguish lynx picked the creature up by the knife, examining it, then looked at Dante. "Hey, you look kinda familiar . . . wait, now I remember. You were one of the guys who was there for that whole Wonderland debacle! Small universe, eh?"

He gestured for Dante to follow him. "Yeah, the hallowed ground. More like a training ground to be honest. Hope you're not disappointed. Still, we'd better get you in outta this heat."

About ten minutes of walking later, a gleaming golden haze came into view. The very rocks and dirt seemed to glow, as though reflecting sunlight. Kassom, dead snake still in hand, strode right out into the middle of it, dragging Dante along with him; strangely, he knelt down there and knocked. On the ground. Like a door.

That's when a large circle of the glowing ground began to descend into darkness, like some kind of otherworldly elevator. At first the difference between the harsh desert sun and the cool darkness of the underground would have left almost anyone blind as a bat... but over the course of a minute or two Dante would see the most unlikely of sights: a large castle, topped with an immense dragon statue, stood within a huge underground cavern. Even more impossible, the castle stood in stark silhouette against the radiant backdrop of a full moon...

...underground.

"Welcome to the Nightshade Sanctum, the big secret of the so-called 'hallowed ground'." Kassom explained. He pointed at the castle as he spoke. "There's this guy, Magus; he runs the place. Powerful dark wizard -- you'll know him when you see him. Anyway, he apparently misplaced this entire castle at one point -- don't even ask how; it's a long story -- and by some random fluke of time-space irony it ended up here, deep underground."

"He's letting myself and a few friends stay here when we need to; I'll probably end up coming here often, as he's got a pretty good combat training setup going. But more on that later." He patted Dante on the shoulder as their floating platform came to rest at the bottom of the cave. "Oh, and don't mind the moon -- it's just a little magic trick to give the place some light. It's a nice touch, don't ya think?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ten minutes later, Kassom set a steaming bowl of stew and a jug of water in front of Dante. The two had gone into the castle's main dining hall immediately after arriving, since it was obvious the desert-wearied young man needed to recover himself a bit.

"Go ahead, eat up." Kassom encouraged. "Don't worry -- there's no snake meat in it. I'm saving that for later." He added with a grin.

"So... what brings you out here?"

[Dante]

Dante stared at the bowl of stew with excessive delight. He began to eat the food laid out before him; carrots, beans, celery, meat, potatos, and other stuff that tasted great! He was really hungry, especially after not eating breakfast. He slurped what was left of the stew before hearing the question asked by Kassom. "So... what brings you out here?"

Dante wiped his mouth with his shirt sleeve giving a sigh of relief. "Well, I'm out here to find the hallowed grounds and it seems I've found it. I was really expecting an oasis underground, but this is much better," Dante began as he took a gulp of the water that came with his delicious meal. When he finally put the jug down he started again. "Thanks, Kassom. If it weren't for you, I would be either dead, or still walking out in the wasteland."

Dante rubbed his stomach, feeling good now that he had food in his system. He thought about something that just so happened to cross his mind at the time. Something that started with a 'C'. It was shiny... but Dante couldn't think of anything, so he drank the last of the water. He wondered if he could get another bowl of that great stew. If not, maybe Kassom could be a pal and sneak him some more.

"If you don't mind me asking, can I get some more food? The stew was great, by the way." That 'C' word kept bugging him. Christmas? Christmas was shiny. It had a lot of lights, didn't it? Well, then again, Dante didn't really like Christmas, so it wouldn't be that.

Well, whatever it was, Dante didn't let it agitate him too much. He just worried about the food and if Kassom could get him some more of it.

[nascent]

"Whoa, easy there champ." The furry rogue patted Dante on the shoulder. "Eating too much after all the time you spent out there is likely to make you sick. I'll get you some more... but take it slow, okay?"

"By the way," He added, standing and heading for the kitchen. "If you plan to stay and train, be sure to get some rest tonight. There's plenty of empty bedrooms up on the third floor -- just choose one that's unlocked."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Early the Next Day...

The door opened soundlessly; from the entrance, the grim figure of Magus looked upon Dante as he slept. "So... this is the new arrival."

"Yeah, that's him." Kassom replied, standing out in the hallway. "You think he's got potential?"

"Whether he does or not, the crashing tides of Fate and Destiny wait for no one." The shadowmage's eyes narrowed, not even bothering to keep his voice low. "When the time comes he will either be ready... or he will not. That is the way of things."

Extending one gloved hand, the wizard conjured a minuscule amount of magical power. An arc of electricity raced across his glove for a moment, then leapt across the room towards the slumbering warrior. It wouldn't be enough to harm him, but the shocking jolt would CERTAINLY wake him up. Magus watched what ensued, then halfway turned back towards the door.

"If you wish to remain here, then your training starts today. You have half an hour -- meet me outside the main gate when you're ready." With that, the warlock turned and trotted off down the hallway.

Kassom peered in. "Told ya he was quite a character. C'mon, let's get you a quick breakfast before your first run of the Serpent's Gauntlet."

[Dante]

Dante shuddered. Was that actual electricity that woke him up, or did someone just slap him really hard on the body? Whatever it was, he shouldn't bother with it. He sat up, reaching for his pants and sliding them on with ease. Next was his short sleeve shirt. He wouldn't be wearing the long sleeve until he got back home where it wouldn't cause him to experience a heat stroke. He placed all of his old articles back on and stepped into his shoes as he stood up. He sucked in a huge breath of air and let it out slowly.

"Yeah. I wouldn't want to cross that guy. Anyways, what's for breakfast? I'm starving, even after last night." Dante walked down the hallway, waiting for Kassom. He wasn't one to go wandering around places the he didn't know much about, especially in this place. If a lynx person existed, then anything could be possible. When Dante first met Kassom in Wonderland, he thought that the sudden race change was due to Wonderland's wackiness, but now he knew differently.

"By the way, what's the Serpent's Gauntlet. Sounds like a name of a tournament. Don't tell me I'm going into a tournament, I will seriously run if I am." Dante stared at Kassom with a slightly curious and slightly frightened expression. The whole 'C' thing began to run across his mind again, but he didn't let him lose focus of what he was asking of Kassom. Did Kassom know about this "Serpent's Gauntlet"? Was it tedious, or was it easy as eating cake at a birthday party that you weren't invited to?

[nascent]

Kassom led the way downstairs, answering Dante's questions as they went. "My sister's downstairs making something -- eggs and bacon, I think. Keep it light this time, kid, or you're liable to lose it all during training this morning."

"The Serpent's Gauntlet... well, I could tell you about it, but it's one of those things you don't really understand until you've done it for yourself. There's a lot of magic involved, something about 'chaos runes' embedded in the ground, but I'm not really a mage so I don't really understand the specifics. All I know if that it's really, really random -- the kind of training that teaches you to think on your feet, because you never know what might come at you next."

Noting the bewildered look on Dante's face, Kassom shrugged. "Just think of it like an obstacle course. You'll understand it better once you see it."

----------------------------------------------------------

After Breakfast...



Magus met them outside the front gates, as promised. He didn't say much -- nothing, in fact. He simply gestured for the two to follow him.

After several minutes of walking, the trio reached a part of the cavern that seemed like a large flat-bottomed crater... and cut into the stone floor of that crater was a long, winding trench in the shape of a large flat-edged coil. Nearby was a ramp leading down into the trench, and a second ramp at the trench's end led up to a flat area at the center of the coil. Next to each ramp stood a small stone podium with a radiant blue crystal embedded in the top. Magus laid his hand upon the one next to the entrance ramp, causing it to glow briefly. He then turned to face Dante.

"This is your first challenge. Are you ready?"

Kassom placed a reassuring hand on Dante's shoulder. "Welcome to the Serpent's Gauntlet, two hundred meters of edge-of-your-seat mayhem! This one's kind of a rite of passage for people who come here -- you pass this, you get to stay. Rules for your first run are simple: no time limit, just make it to the end and tag the crystal to deactivate the course. You crawl out of the trench, you forfeit. Be ready for anything -- and I DO mean anything."

Magus nodded grimly. "This is a test of survival skills and adaptability. If you are mortally wounded I will stop the challenge, but beyond that you must face this yourself. Any weapons and powers, aside from teleportation, are allowed." He gestured towards the entrance ramp. "Now, proceed... if you are ready."







(OOC: Okay, here's the details on your first training exercise, the "obstacle course" I mentioned.

The central skill we're working on here is adaptability: using whatever's on hand, including your character's surroundings and even attacks coming at them, to maximize your advantage (where realistically possible). You already understand this concept, but knowledge and experience can be worlds apart. That's why I designed this exercise.

Here, you get the chance to play around with and overcome all manner of occurrences that might crop up in a real RP battle: things like frozen ground, traps, spell eruptions, all sorts of hazardous stuff. All under your control, not that of an opponent who's doing his/her best to deep fry your character. It's a chance for your character to get creative and have fun -- at the same time, it's a test of writing creativity and your character's ability to deal with situations that put him in a tough spot.

Your next post will be evaluated and graded on the following criteria:

• Minimum 1500 words (It's a long path, after all. Remember that it's a straight shot at the start, then curves around several times until it reaches the exit ramp to the central platform.)
  
• Minimum of 10 Hazards (Here's the list of Hazards: miniature volcanic eruption, poisonous gas cloud, ice covering the ground, fast-freezing rain, blinding fog, blinding light, ball lightning, deep mud, deep hole, stone spikes {on floor or walls, regular or projectile}, miniature earthquake, walls closing in, giant spiderweb, grabbing vines, attack by random monster, golem attack {pick earth, stone, ice, or fire golem}, rock slide, quicksand, sudden magic eruption (pick fire, ice, lightning, earth, or dark magic), or invent one or two Hazards of your own! Also, you can have repeating Hazards -- up to three repeats per Hazard -- as long as the repeats are spaced out.)
  
• Creativity [30 pts] (Be as inventive as you can here. I'm looking for not just how you overcome the Hazards on the path, but also how you describe and interpret the Hazards.)
  
• Tacticality [30 pts] (Try not to just cut your way through any Hazard that gets in your way. This goes back to the creativity expectation.)
  
• Utilizing your Environment [40 pts] (Your surroundings be mindful of, Yoda say. The path is wide with semi-curved sides. Try to use this fact to your advantage if possible. Sometimes a Hazard can present an opportunity or a dynamic that your character can take advantage of. Keep this in mind.)
  
• Spell-Check Yourself (If you're using the newest version of Firefox it'll let you know when you write something it doesn't recognize. If you're not using Firefox, typing your post up in Word or Open Office will work just as well. Up to five points [-5 pts] can be taken off your total score if the spelling is consistently problematic.)
  

100 - 91 pts = A
90 - 81 pts = B
80 - 66 pts = C
65- 51 pts = D
50 or lower = training failed

Bonus points can be added in for exemplary RPing.

Now, show me you've got what it takes to tame any battlefield!)

[Dante]

Dante stood next to Magus, surveying the path until he couldn’t see it anymore. He was awestruck at the length of this gauntlet, contemplating the words Magus had been saying. When he felt Kassom place his hand on his shoulder, he stepped forward slightly, his short fear replaced with a strong determination to pass this test. If he was to complete this, he was going to have to place his fear in the back of his head. Dante began to stretch both his arms and legs, getting set for his next deadly trek. If Kassom and Magus were true in their words, this place would be extremely tedious.

”Alright, lets do this.” Dante kneeled in a track runner position, keeping his gaze straight. Then, in almost no time at all from when he first got down, Dante was sprinting down the ramp of the gauntlet, placing his first step on the true track. A forward run wasn’t too bad, Dante keeping a nice pace down the path. Then, he met his first challenge; a set of projectile spikes. He wasn’t too surprised about this, though, knowing that anything could happen in a place like this. Still, it was a quick shot of seven piercing projectiles that were aiming for Dante’s body. Dante summoned his cleaver as he brought it down to counter the spikes, sending them into the earth and crushing them.

”Well, can’t say I wasn’t scared for a minute. Lets keep going.” Dante began to run again, this time he was met by no resistance. It gave him an eerie feeling of something about to happen, but nothing did… until he tripped and fell into something sloppy and slushy. Dante tried to reach for a rough edge to pick himself up, but to his dismay, there was only wet, deep mud. Dante began to slowly thrash around, trying to regain some balance, but he wasn’t able to feel anything with his feet. With every second, he sank deeper and deeper into the mud, his body feeling crushed by the packed sludge. Was this the end for Dante? Not by far.

Dante may not be all that smart, but he had enough to use his abilities to his advantage. He summoned a pillar of darkness to shoot up from the mud, the pillar a few feet away from his initial target; his own body. With his hand in the ooze, he couldn’t quite position where his pillars were appearing, so he only hoped that one would hit him from below. Another pillar shot a foot away at least, Dante feeling the power emitting from the spell. Dante tried to raise his hand from the sloop, but alas, it was stuck, so he tried one more random attack, this time raising him from the mess that was called mud.

As he sat on the pillar in the air, he coughed harshly and wiped his face, slapping some of the mess onto his brow. This was difficult for Dante to complete, especially since he wasn’t meant for this stuff. He had always hated mud, it was too messy for him to go into and this was yet another reason for his hatred towards it. He stood up with a very slow and shaky body, not being able to properly balance himself until he jumped from the pillar and onto the rough ground, or what he hoped was rough ground. Thankfully, his wish came true and he began on his sprint towards the end.

He came around a corner, nothing too special happening. As he continued, a soft, lingering fog started up, but it didn’t affect Dante until it became excessively thick, then he had a problem. He stopped, searching for light somewhere. This stuff was really, really thick. Thick enough, almost, to allow him to cut a hole through it and eat the circle shaped fog. Crrrriiisssshhh A sound of giant, shuffling footsteps could be heard from the distance. What is that? The answer came to him in a sudden breeze of bone chilling air full of small fragments of ice. Then, the weirdest thing began to occur; rain. Oh, but this was no ordinary rain, it froze to his skin as it padded upon his body and clothes. Thankfully, only his face was open to any of the harsh defects of the rain, but still, freezing rain.

Dante sprinted forward, trying to escape this trap of deadly obstacles. He couldn’t see anything, anyways, so he doubted that he was going to correct way. Then it hit him; literally. Dante ran into a towering, bulky dark figure, its body faded out by the fog. He rubbed his head, feeling his cheek. It was freezing! He just hoped that he didn’t obtain frost bite from this thing that he ran into. He stared into the fog, trying to match the figure with someone that he already knew, but it was no use. At that point, he was picked up by one ice clad hand, frost forming around his shirt. He was then staring into the eyes of an ice golem, its yellow eyes filled with rage. The golem threw Dante across the fog filled pathway, Dante landing roughly and with a loud thud.

Dante attempted to stand up, but was thwarted by this thing. The golem raised Dante from the ground and slammed him right back into it. This hurt, a lot. This time, as Dante stood up, he brought his cleaver to match the golem’s gargantuan fists of ice. He feared for his cleaver, but knew that this was the only way that he could win. With a quick rise of his hand, a pillar of darkness shot up from the ground and hit the golem, sending it into a blind rage. It charge for Dante and punted him towards the way that he was supposed to go. Dante may have broken something by doing this, but he stepped back up.

With another quick hand raise, two musical measures surrounded the golem, setting off a light in the dense fog. Dante conducted and sent at least fifty balls of darkness at the golem. One of its arms were blown off by this, which in turn softened the rain. That’s it! The fog and the rain are all due to this golem! If the golem dies, so does the rain and fog. Dante stood up and dashed forward, jumping up as his momentum sent his feet slamming into the golem’s shoulders. With that momentum, Dante used his cleaver and stuck it in between the eyes of the golem, allowing a crack to be formed. Hopefully this would keep the golem situated while he proceeded in mutilating the arms and legs of this bastard.

Dante jumped off, slashing at the remaining arm. If he cut this off, he would probably be able to kill it with a stab through the chest, thus killing it. Every slash from his cleaver sent a myriad of ice cold shards in random directions. With a final slice, the arm was gone and no longer connected to the torso. Dante huffed and puffed as the golem stomped, sending an explosion of ice from the ground to hit Dante. It did just that and sent him flying into one of the sides of the gauntlet. Spikes lined the ground where Dante was standing, making him grunt in pain. Was this bastard for real? Did it have some ultra ice spell that he just showed Dante? Well, Dante wasn’t going to take this from a stupid golem.

He stood up, his cleaver appearing to his hand. The golem stomped once more, sharp pillars of ice protruding from the ground in mere seconds. Dante braced himself for the oncoming attack, the pillars sending him back to the wall once more. Dante wasn’t going to give up this easily. Oh no, this was only the beginning of what he had in store for this monster. The pillars were still there, giving Dante an idea. He stood from the wall and walked forward, brandishing his cleaver for a slice or two. The golem sent another wave of pillars towards Dante, who was now jumping from pillar top to pillar top. The great ice being was probably amazed at what Dante had just accomplished. With his cleaver in hand and dragging behind him, giant chunks of ice fell from the pillars, hitting the golem with great speed. Dante looked down and rounded down one of the pillars, soon hitting the bottom of the spike like obelisk.

Dante shot off from the shaft and was aiming towards the golem’s body. With a mighty swing from the tired body of the young man, the cleaver sliced through the golem, not completely, though. Dante watched as the golem looked over at him with energy enough for one last attack, but Dante wouldn’t allow it to utilize his remaining energy. So, without stall, Dante placed his foot on the hilt of the cleaver and jabbed it through the golem, killing it off. This, in turn, removed the rain, the fog, and the pillars of ice.

The ice that covered his body disappeared, giving Dante relief. He laughed, holding his pained side. This trail of death may be dangerous, but it was fun for Dante. Intimidating Dante was a hard task to accomplish, since Dante has seen things much scarier than most of the things that he was challenged with. As he settled down, he looked towards the correct way that he had to travel to complete this interesting course of traps. Dante didn’t sprint this time, but instead he ran slowly around the wide curves, making sure that there were no monsters around the corner of each turn, continuing when it was safe.

Rounding a curve, he was met with small indents in the ground, knowing instantly that they were traps, but what did they do? Being as cautious as ever, Dante maneuvered around the indents as carefully as he could. Without noticing, though, he stepped on one. ”Oh crap. What now?” To answer Dante’s question, fire rose from the holes behind him, setting him to his “wtf” moment. Without further warning, Dante began his run down the hole filled road. Flames were setting off in rows behind him, the flames not dieing out after they were ignited. They were faster than Dante, getting that much closer to setting his butt to a fine crisp. Dante pushed himself to get faster, but it didn’t amount to much.

He was desperate, and the only thing he could do to save himself was to allow the darkness to give him strength and speed. He sent his cleaver back to where ever it wanted to go and clenched his fist, bringing it to his heart as he did so. A thing dark aura appeared around Dante as he ran, but what was this? He was gaining speed at a fair amount every moment or so. Dane sprinted away from the flames, seeing in the horizon the end of the flaming trail. When close enough, Dante mad a great leap to the end, but fell somewhere close. The flames were gaining on him while he was sitting there, his body full of dirt and stuff.

Dante scrambled to his feet, tripping at the first attempt. When the flames were close enough to give him a third degree burn, he dashed out of the death trap and fell on his back, gasping for air that his body so desperately needed. Oh how fun, yet freaking crazy this whole gauntlet idea was. If he hadn’t been a user of darkness, he would’ve died in no time after stepping on that hole. Pain shot through his side, making him squint in despair as he clenched his side.

It was from the golem attack. Dante raised his shirt, seeing some minor bleeding and major bruising and a few cuts. He had to get to the end before anything else happened. If he failed to do so, he would probably fail the gauntlet. He stood up slowly, regaining his strength as the pain disappeared. What else was there? If there were any monsters, send them out! Dante would get rid of them with ease.

Dante began to make his way around the rest of the gauntlet before he slipped on the ground. Even if there wasn’t ice on the ground, Dante would’ve tripped from his weakness. He was sliding slowly forward, the ice blistering his skin with a freezing sensation that sent him up in a howl of pain. When he sat up, the real trap began as he slid forward at incredible speed. His butt was freezing as he slipped on the ice covered surface. At that moment, explosions of magical energy shot out from the side of the building, some ice, some lightning and some fire. What was this?

The young man wouldn’t be able to stop by using just his bare hands, so he began to think about ways to stop this sliding on his bottom, the explosions sending him against the walls of the trench. Too bad he didn’t have his cleaver with him, he could’ve used it to stop him from sliding on the ice. As he slid, he could see spikes forming form the walls, sending fear down Dante’s backbone. He laid his body down on the ice to dodge the shooting spike, having to sit up to dodge the next. This is crazy!

When it finally hit Dante’s mind, he was already coming towards the end, but what was this? There were spikes at the end of this icy trail. Damn. Dante began to sit up by using the force of his legs, trying to position himself on his feet. When he finally got up, his momentum sent him into a front flip before finally ending on his feet in a balanced position. He slid on the ice as if he was on a snowboard, his eyes set on the spikes below. He was so close to them that he could feel their deep pricks, but when he got close enough, he used the momentum to do as he did before with the front flip, landing on his buttocks.

His eyes were closing. He was exhausted to the point where his body was so limp that it felt like one giant noodle. He turned towards the end, finally seeing the ramp. All of this crap he had been through just to reach this dumb crystal. At least it was over, right? Dante stood up, dragging his sluggish body towards the crystal, smiling as he climbed up the ramp. He stared at the crystal, laughing hysterically as he deactivated the course by placing his palm and fingers around the crystal. He stopped laughing, searching around for Kassom and Magus to see if he did as they wished.

[nascent]

(OOC: Overall, not bad. A few areas come to mind where your writing style could use a bit more practice and diversity, but overall well done.

Minimum 1500 words: Exceeded
Minimum of 10 Hazards: Met
Creativity: 22 pts

Tacticality: 22 pts
[Dante's best tactical moments were, without doubt, in the fight with the ice golem. He took his hits, rolled with the punches, and made use of what was available. Nothing spectacular here, but nothing lacking either. Good work.]
Using Your Environment: 30pts
[You made use of the track's layout occasionally, which is good enough for the focus of this exercise. Mostly Dante reacted to his environs when they were altered by a Hazard, so points for that as well.]

FINAL GRADE:
74pts (C)

Overall Critique:
[It's difficult to tell you how exactly to improve this, as it's something that mostly comes from experience both as a writer and with a character... but you use your character's name WAY too much. It's a tough thing to get around, I know, but I have a few suggestions.

One: Diversify your sentence style. A little over half of your sentences can be boiled down to "Dante did this" or "This happened to Dante". Try to change it up a little. For instance:

Every slash from his cleaver sent a myriad of ice cold shards in random directions.

One approach to adding diversity is to "let the action lead". Since you had already established earlier that Dante was using his cleaver to attack, reminding the reader that it's his cleaver too much can bog down the action. Instead, you might write something like this:

A myriad of frozen shards were carved in violent sprays from the golem's thick hide, the long steel blade striking again and again in a flurry of steel.

Notice how, even though Dante isn't explicitly mentioned, the reader still understands he's the one doing this. Once you establish something, the cleaver for instance, as being associated with the character you have some leeway of understanding with your audience. This let's you "zoom in on the action", so-to-speak, focusing not quite so much on a character's actions as their results.

Alternately, instead of using "Dante", "he", or "his" all the time, try giving your character what I call "creative pronouns". For instance, when I RP as Magus you'll notice I often refer to him as "the shadowmage", "the warlock", "the scythe-wielder", etc. In Dante's case, "the young man" "the swordsman", and "the skinny warrior" might be good ones to start with. They don't always have to start with the, either; in some cases, "Madam's apprentice" might work well also. This helps break up the name-and-pronoun monotony while also reaffirming to the audience a character's most important traits.

Other than that, you have a good sense of flow and action. Your descriptive abilities are on par, but could be improved by expanding on sensory details: the numbing sting of the freezing rain on Dante's face, the violent shaking of the ground with the golem's stomp. The key idea behind good writing is to make the scene come alive to your readers, like they're in the midst of it themselves. Dante's exhausted state at the end is a good example of where you got this right.

You have a solid grasp of the basics, and I can tell you also have the potential to excel. Keep it up!]

And now... a little down time before the next event.)







As Dante dragged himself up the exit ramp, Kassom came bounding towards him, leaping across the trenches. He promptly moved to support the injured warrior, holding him upright as Magus hovered over.

"Not bad, rookie. You hit some tough ones in there and kept on going." Kassom encouraged, flashing Dante a friendly smile. "You're tougher than you look."

Magus nodded silently, extending one gloved hand towards the triumphal young man. A hazy cloud of sparkling light descended, casting a warm glow over the youth's body; immediately his wounds began to fade and vanish, though the tatters in his clothes remained. "You did well. For now, rest."

--------------------------------------------------------

Ten Minutes Later...



Having returned to the dining hall, Kassom set a steaming plate of roasted chicken in front of Dante... a meal worthy of a conqueror. The young lynx took up a seat opposite the new trainee and Magus could be found leaning against the wall nearby, arms folded and eyes closed in meditation.

"So, you've probably got some questions, right?" The furry rogue offered. He gestured towards Magus. "Between the two of us, we should be able to teach you anything about fighting you need to know, so don't be shy about it."






(OOC: Since you passed the first exercise, I figured I'd take an opportunity before we do the next challenge to open things up for questions, in-story and out of. Feel free to ask me anything you'd like to know about the RP arts, in battle or out of it. If you want, you can also have Dante ask Kassom and/or Magus to teach him a few tricks -- nothing that'd give you new abilities, but worthwhile nonetheless. Ask whatever you want. Afterward, we'll start phase two.)

[Dante]

Dante was pleased to see the new meal appear in front of him, licking his lips to the scent of roasted chicken. The starving teen quickly tore into the breast with his teeth, removing strands of poultry from the bone. He didn't want to seem obnoxious, but when you're craving just about anything, you'll eat what you can get and without hesitation. While chewing, he barely heard anything of what Kassom had been saying, but he had heard enough. Swallowing the rest of the chicken, the curious warrior began to ask his questions.

"Hmm... So, Kassom. You seem to be knowledgeable about fighting, not saying that Magus isn't, but he seems... busy. Could you, you know, teach me a few of your tricks? Seriously, I would love to learn how to fight better. If it's not too much trouble, of course." Dante finished his question almost as fast as he devoured the next piece of chicken he bit into. If Kassom agreed, it would help Dante in more ways than Kassom, or even Magus could understand.

{OOC: I know it's small, but I'm tired from cleaning house all morning, not to mention that Monster Truck Show soon. Anyways, a question or two OOC

1. How often should I use He, His, and Dante? Also, how often should I use "creative pronouns"?

2. I know some people talk about using adjectives too much, so how many adjectives should be the maximum while describing an action?}

[nascent]

(OOC: The fact of the matter is, there's no easy answer to your questions. If you're looking for hard and fast rules, you'll find those in short supply when it comes to writing and RP. But I can give you an idea of where to start.

If you're ever unsure about anything, try reading your post out loud. Listen carefully. Does it seem to flow smoothly and easily, or is it choppy and difficult to read without frequent stops? Does it seem "list-like", AKA: 'this happened, then that happened...'? Trust your own sensitivities regarding these aspects... but don't beat yourself up trying to conjure a great post. Let your writing flow naturally, then go back and make a few improvements if you feel they're necessary.

I know it's ambiguous and vague advice... but I hope that helps. A writer is a lot like an inventor: he knows that what he creates requires structure, but it also takes a willingness to try what's new and unusual. Experience will be your best teacher, trust me.)




Kassom shrugged, standing up from his seat. "Sure, I guess I could teach you a few things. Hmm..."

He thought for a long moment, then snapped his fingers. "Ah! I know. Reading your opponent. Okay, watch closely..."

Taking a few steps back, the lynx turned to one side and threw a punch at empty air. "So... what moves first, Dante?" He threw another. "Watch for which part of my body moves first when I prepare to strike. Tell me what you see."

He threw another punch at the air, stepping into it slightly, then stepped back and punched again without the step. Next, a flurry of kicks, followed by a diversity of different punching styles. Finishing with a windmill kick, Kassom walked back over to Dante.

"So... did you see it?" He grinned slightly, then explained. "With most opponents -- especially those built like humans -- the vast majority of attack motions don't start in the arms or the legs. If an attacker is trying to put force behind a strike they need to use their body like a lever or a spring... no matter how minor, there is virtually always some kind of build-up or positioning that happens before an attack. And if you can learn to read that -- learn to look for the signs that something's coming your way -- you'll be prepared enough to dodge, block, or take advantage. So... what moves first?"

"Center of gravity, m'friend. Whether force is going up into the arms or down into the legs, it usually has to travel through one part of the body: the hips. That's what usually moves first." Kassom patted Dante on the shoulder. "Read the hips, read the attack. And if your opponent doesn't have hips, look for their center of gravity and see what bends."






(OOC: BTW, don't forget to post in Atlantica's Temple, ok?)

[Dante]

As Kassom was demonstrating punches and talking, Dante watched, listening to the lynx man and taking mental notes. Center of gravity and reading the hips, eh? Dante had never really payed attention to things like that, but from what he had heard from Kassom, doing so was important in blocking and whatnot. The warrior seemed to be attentive to everything that the man was talking about before he was finished. Kassom patted Dante on the shoulder, the young man nodding. "Wow. Thanks Kassom! I'm sure that advice will help in the near future!" Dante smiled widely, hoping that what Kassom had taught him would change the tide of battle when in a pinch.

Going back to the sitting poultry, Dante began to eat again, enjoying every bit as he chewed.

OOC:[Grr... Small again... *Sigh* Hopefully, after the Battle with Alexis, my casual Rp muse will return and I'll be able to create and even better post.]

[nascent]

"Maybe sooner than you think, kid..." Kassom suggested, resuming his seat.

Over in the corner, Magus stirred from his meditative silence. "When you're done, Dante, one more challenge awaits you today." He glanced at the furry rogue. "Kassom, you know where to take him."

The lynx nodded, and Magus left the room. As the doors closed behind the shadowmage, Kassom came up alongside Dante and whispered to him. "Kid, get ready. This next one's a doozie."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

This time, Dante found Kassom leading him up a long series of stairs and passages into the uppermost tower of the castle. Bats, roosting until nightfall, scattered as the two scaled an exterior staircase and entered a darkened room.

"Watch your step," Kassom advised. "And try not to touch the flames."

Before Dante could ask what he was talking about -- the room was completely unlit, not a torch in sight -- a set of unnatural blue flames flared into being several feet on either side of him. Kassom gestured towards the other end of the room, and as Dante walked more flames periodically lit, forming a pathway between them. At the path's end a circle of blue fire emerged, and within it stood Magus, facing away from the young swordsman.

"Step forward," Magus instructed, then added. "If you are ready to confront that darkness which lies within you."

Unnoticed in the dimly lit room, Dante's shadow had been growing and lengthening ever since he'd stepped through the doorway... now, however, it reared up on its own, taking form and shape. Magus turned, and as he did so a large magic circle scrawled on the floor activated, glowing with an unearthly light. "Step into the circle, Dante... and face yourself."

With those words, Magus stepped back and out of the ring of flames. The second trial had begun.





(OOC: Dante has entered Magus' summoning chamber, which you can see a quick cutscene of [HERE]. We'll be using this area as the battlefield for your next challenge, wistfully entitled "Know Thyself".

The basic concept is that Dante will be fighting a Heartless in his own likeness, just like Anti-Sora from KH1. Your goal is to have Dante fight his doppelganger... and if possible, defeat it.

The expectations are similar to before:

• Minimum 1400 words
  
• Creativity [20 pts]
  
• Tacticality [20 pts]
  
• Utilizing your Environment [20 pts]
  
• Recreating your character's Fighting Style [30 pts]
  [This is really key to this exercise. Dante's doppelganger has all the same abilities, skills, and weaponry that Dante himself has. The point is for you, as a writer, to figure out your character's strengths and weaknesses in one-on-one combat and develop ways to adapt. This goes back to what I wrote regarding the Tactical Triune in 'Deeds of the Writers' (see link in sig).]
  
• The Shadows Are Watching... [10 pts]
  [Dante's doppelganger will start out with very simple, almost primal Heartless behavior -- aggressive, but not very smart. As the fight goes on it will begin to learn from him, approximating his abilities and thinking. Towards the fight's end the shadow will be trying to out-think Dante using what it's learned of him, thus becoming a much more dangerous opponent. I need you to do your best to recreate this learning behavior in your opponent's actions.]
  
• Spell-Check Yourself

100 - 91 pts = A
90 - 81 pts = B
80 - 66 pts = C
65- 51 pts = D
50 or lower = training failed

Bonus points can be added in for exemplary RPing, just like before. Best of luck!)

[Dante]

Just when Dante thought that he was going to be facing Magus, the shadowmage turned his idea into dust by vanishing from the flaming circle. Face yourself? What did this mean? Then, a shuffling noise came from behind the young fighter, setting off the beginning of the battle. As Dante turned around, he was amazed to see himself in front of him, hunched over and staring directly forward, almost as if it were piercing through the warrior’s body like a spear. Was there a mirror somewhere, or was this really himself? It was hard to tell, the copy being completely black with yellow eyes.

The shadow-like copy held an exact replica of Dante’s cleaver, holding the blade in the exact way that the Ex-Apprentice did. Without warning, the clone lunged forward, slashing down. Dante brought up his own blade, the copy seeming less than pleased about this. The shadow was strong, probably even stronger than Dante himself, but that didn’t change the fact that this battle meant life or death. With a pounding of the right foot, Dante shot the copy back, a spark flying down from the impact. The copy landed on its back, but lifted its legs and hopped back up, fading into the ground like a regular Shadow heartless. Was that what this thing was? A heartless version of the teen?

Whatever it was, it was coming up from underneath the adolescent teen, its eyes gleaming from the ground. Dante quickly rolled out of the way, just in time to be grazed on the pants leg. This thing was beginning to get bothersome, disappearing and reappearing from the ground to stab Dante with its replica blade. The shadow Dante stood still for half a second before bounding towards its creator. It seemed that the normal hack and slash wouldn’t work against this foe, so the dark using youngster brought up a pillar of darkness to defend himself from the attack. The shadow didn’t seem blissful about the new ability that was activated, being risen from the earth by a dark obelisk.

Jumping from the large pillar, the shadow rocketed down towards Dante, brandishing its weapon. Dante was on his bottom at the moment, making him an easy target, but with a developed mind, something that the copy didn’t seem to have, the warrior did a sort of rolling back flip. By sitting forward a bit and placing his hands by his side, the teen pushed himself back far and high enough to get back on his feet, dodging the death blow. The shadow cleaver cut into the floor, leaving a wide slash mark under the heartless. Its gaze shot forward, once again piercing Dante before removing the blade from the earth below. What was this now? The shadow was “reaching” forward with its right hand, seeming as if it needed help.

Oh how wrong the swordsman was about help. Darkness began to emit from the stretched appendage, that same element circling Dante from below. The shadow was using the pillar against Dante. That bastard! Before being able to dodge this attack, the all to familiar obelisk rose from the floor, raising Dante into the air. How did the shadow learn about the pillar ability so quickly? Was Dante wrong when he thought that the copy had no developed mind? Before being able to stand, the pillar moved. If using the attack wasn’t enough, now it was being edited by the copy to move. The pillar disappeared quickly from under the baffled teen, the swordsman falling from the extreme height.

When the male had gotten close enough, the shadow took the blade and bashed him with the blunt side, sending the male flying towards the flames. Dante skidded across the floor, the friction stopping the advent towards the fire. Standing up with bruises and skid marks on his skin, the male stared into the eyes of the beast, wondering if this thing was going to beat him or not. No more holding back, this was getting too dangerous to take lightly. Raising his blade, the swordsman ran across the room, sparks flying as the metal dragged on the floor. The shadow was in no way amazed with the persistent creator, bringing its own replica down to meet with the rising weapon.

It was steel on dark steel as the two warriors fought against each other with their strength, pushing each other back as they fought over dominance against one another. Dante was roughed up, barely keeping his own blade in hand as he pushed harder against his copy. His clothes were torn even more than from before, his strength being withered down by this replica of himself, which brought up the question, How did this copy get so much more power? Well, the answer was simple; One, the replica was only a copy on the outside, its power coming from a different source and Two, it was using abilities made from darkness, so of course it was going to be stronger. How did Dante know this? Again, a simple answer; He used to be part of this darkness.

Sparks literally flew across the flaming circle, dancing on the earth before disappearing from existence. The two fighters were still interlocked in a battle of true strength, but there was one factor that would change the whole tide of this battle and that was intelligence. Kicking the heartless in the chest and pushing it away, the male was able to rest for a few seconds before the beastly copy rose back onto its feet. Dante had used the advice that the Kassom had given him, watching the hips of his opponent. This was how Dante had managed to block the attack. He knew that by rushing into the scene with power, the heartless would have no choice but to either dodge, or block and challenge the creator with its own weapon. So, when the heartless had risen its blade, preparing for a downward strike, the male was already one step ahead, raising his sword to block downwards strike.

Now that the enemy was in the swordsman’s trap, there was no escaping. Summoning two musical measures, the now confident teen shaped them to fit the battlefield, only a single, unmeasured circle in the middle for the conductor of this deadly piece; Dante. Swinging both of his arms in a wild conducting pattern, orbs of darkness rose from the earth where the measures were, juggling the shadow as they hit it. They dragged the heartless Dante into a spiraling deathtrap, the copy bouncing without break as the darkness crashed against its body. When the musical death was over, it was Dante who was in the lead of the fight. Like the heartless, the swordsman copied what his opponent had just done by bringing his blade and smashing the copy with the blunt of the blade, sending the doppelganger into the flames.

Was it over? Was the heartless finished for good? Apparently not, since the it jumped up in a burning rage. Its body was engulfed in a blue inferno, the flames dieing out quickly. The hatred in the eyes of the shadow was a good signal to tell that it was displeased, its anger controlling its every movement. Summoning the shadow cleaver , the one that was so rudely removed from its hands as it was being carried by musical notes, the shadow dashed forward, the blade leading its deadly advent. Again with the hips and watching them. With the same technique, both blades clashed in yet another battle for dominance.


Grinding, the blades sent sparks across the interior of the room, a myriad of them flying out of the circle and onto the ground. The faces of these fierce warriors met, their eyes gleaming into each others’, sending each other deadly messages of what was to come. This time, the two pushed each other backwards, their feet sliding roughly across the battlefield. The fighters were now taken in by this extreme challenge for life, their bodies dashing across the room, their blades meeting each other along the way. This went on for a good while, their bodies becoming tired and limp after the many clashes. Then, they went at each other again, only this time they were standing still, trading slashes and punches and even kicks.


They were tired now, not being able to even hold their blades up over their waists. Still, one of them was going to win no matter how exhausted. With a forceful kick to the stomach area, Dante sent the heartless sliding back towards the flames, but thanks to friction, it stopped right before touching the magical fire. Now it was the shadow’s turn to take the upper hand in this battle. By summoning the musical measures that had been done just recently, the shadow aligned them in a row. There was but one track in the middle and it was occupied by a charging heartless being, cleaver attached to its back as it bent its body down like a rhino attacking a tree. Its hands were outstretched as it conducted. At this moment, there was no way out. No miraculous dodge or move could save the warrior now.

So, wanting to take as minimum damage as possible, the teen rolled into the measures, the orbs of darkness shooting him upwards. The heartless had outsmarted him with his own tricks, utilizing the abilities it had learned to its fullest. When Dante came crashing down, the heartless was ready for him. It charged towards the fallen warrior, ready to stab down on his chest. Now was as good of a time as ever to use the Dark Starling mode he had gained from the assistant of darkness back in Destiny Islands. So, rolling away from the attack, Dante gathered the last bits of darkness he had left in his body to become stronger. An ominous aura grew around the adolescent wielder, his muscles tensing with his face.

The thing with this form is that once used, the cleaver wielding ability can’t be used. Also, the little defense that Dante had would be added to his strength and speed, allowing him to dodge most of the attacks that the heartless would use. Standing up with his body in a hunch, the now strengthened fighter was ready for anything that the opponent would use. Well, maybe not everything. The opponent knew how to use the darkness to go DS also, so now both wielders had to give up their blades and become one with the darkness. Oh how this pissed Dante off to the highest degree. Right when he though he had the bastard, it used his form. The young man was going to royally serve heartless butt to everyone on a silver platter after he finished up.

”Take this! Dante dashed forward, sending a punch towards his opponent. Well, what the warrior thought was going to happen didn’t exactly turn out the way he wanted, the copy sending a punch to block the creator. That should’ve hurt the shadow as much as it did Dante, but it didn’t, unfortunately, and it left the warrior open for the kick that his copy was sending into his side. This sent him forward, sliding on his face. Rolling back up to meet the heartless, he saw that it was coming down for a heavy sky punch, too bad Dante was already up and sending a kick into the doppelganger’s face. Hitting the copy upwards, the creator jumped upwards, sending one more kick into the shadow’s face.


What!? It didn’t affect the damned thing! Well, apparently the beast learned something that hadn’t been shown to it yet and that was the Nightmare Shield. It broke into pieces, of course, but still, it used something without being shown the ability beforehand. With that, the two fell on the ground, their bodies becoming normal again. They were already weak, so attempting to use DS without having enough darkness was a real energy waster.

When the fighters opened their eyes, they saw how beat up they both were, using their reserve energy to stand up. If one of them stood up before the other, then it would be the end for their opponent. Even though Dante stood up before the enemy, it was smarter than him now, sending its summoned cleaver towards the creator. Dante somersaulted to the side, but what he had just done cost him the fight. The copy used its darkness to summon a pillar from under the hands of Dante, sending him upwards and without any support to hold him up.

He was flying in the air, his body falling towards the obelisk. Well, the heartless had outsmarted Dante by removing the dark structure, leaving the falling teen to land on his back. He was paralyzed for the moment and the effect would soon end, but this wasn’t a good day for Dante. The heartless copy summoned its cleaver back to its hand, walking over to the fallen warrior. It stood over the pained Dante, seeming to laugh as it did so. No matter what Dante did, he couldn’t roll to any side thanks to the shadow’s feet. ”Bastard! Don’t you ever copy my abilities!” The shadow looked at him, raising its blade up. ”Don’t you ever copy my weapon!” The enemy brought its blade down, attempting to strike Dante in the face.

By bending backwards, Dante wrapped his legs around the body of the heartless and shot forward, now placing the heartless on the ground. The warrior summoned his cleaver and brought it down as he said, ”And more importantly, don’t you ever copy ME!” The blade stuck through the shadow’s face, showing that Dante had won this battle. He was too exhausted to move, his body unable to do much of anything except fall back. Before falling asleep, Dante looked over to Magus, giving him a grim smile. ”You can’t make a copy… of me, because I’ll always be one step ahead… of whatever you create, got it?”

Dante’s eyelids closed, allowing the accomplished warrior to finally rest his head.

[nascent]

(OOC:

Minimum 1400 words: Exceeded
Creativity: 20pts
[Given what you had to work with, your descriptions were fairly creative and the action had a creative flair of its own. You really did good on this one!]
Tacticality: 20pts
[You made solid use of momentum in your combat scenes, not to mention played the similarities and differences between Dante and the copy quite well. From a tactical standpoint, the battle was very believable and skillfully played out. Full points.]
Using Your Environment: 20pts
[Nice work here in particular! Not only did you make your surrounding an active part of the fight and use them to your advantage, but you also incorporated them well in terms of description! For instance, the sparks flying as Dante dragged his cleaver across the floor really brought to life the fact that he was fighting on a battlefield made of stone. Not to mention the various pillar and Shadow Melody maneuvers Dante and his copy pulled; "orchestrating" the battlefield like that can be key to victory, and you clearly have a sense for it. Well done!]
Recreating your character's Fighting Style: 30pts
[Overall, excellent work on this part! Dante and his shadow were indeed echoes of each other -- I was particularly impressed when Dante picked up that one trick his copy had used on him, nice touch!]
The Shadows Are Watching...: 10pts
[The development of Dante's copy was exactly what I'd hoped to see: a feral but cunning intelligence that grew throughout the battle based on what Dante threw at it. Job well done, my student!]

FINAL GRADE:
100pts (perfect A)

Overall Critique:
[Not much to criticize here: you met the challenge dead-on and did everything I expected of you. The only thing I would say is that 'male' may not be the best choice for a 'creative pronoun', as it sounds kinda sterile and scientific. Outside of that, you did excellent!]

And now... to take things in a slightly different direction.)







”You can’t make a copy… of me, because I’ll always be one step ahead… of whatever you create, got it?”

As the young man's eyes fluttered closed, Magus stepped back into the summoning circle and looked down upon the triumphal warrior. "As it should be, Dante... as it should be."

With a wave of Magus' hands the blue flames vanished and the glowing circle faded to black, the Heartless copy dissipating into black mist as the magic which summoned it was undone. Kassom strode over and looked at Dante, who was out cold at this point.

"Kid's got guts."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

When next Dante awoke, he'd find himself back in his guest room. His cleaver stood in the corner of the room and a fresh set of clothes were laid out at the foot of the bed... along with a note:

When you're ready, meet us in the main hall.
~Kassom~

(OOC: By the by, don't forget that when our training is finished you can probably use it to score a Discount!)