Lights! Camera! Duel!!!

[Faust]

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrre you READY TO RUMBLE?"

With a series of whirrs and clanks, the HYPER DROME came to sudden life. Gears and chains began to move with a tireless mechanical motion. From seemingly nowhere, the booming voice continued.

"It's shaping up to be a beuatiful day in the newly refurbished HYPER DROME clock tower of doom! We call tonights event: 'Lights! Camera! Duel!!! The Final Battle for the Silver Screen!' And let's welcome the benefactor of this crazy duel, Sir Theo of HavenHaven."

The previously mentioned fighter from HavenHaven was currently sitting on a rotating gear. He was dressed in clothing that seemed to say "down on his luck police detective about to capture the villain after spending days on an investigation without eating, sleeping, or bathing all that much." Or maybe it said "distressed criminal mastermind pushed into a corner and on his last ropes." The narrator honestly had no idea what this man was going for.

"I don't like making big introductions, DROME," he complained, "How many times to I have to say that I'm a combatant, not the host. Just go over the rules for our guests, willya?"

The HYPER DROME made a sound that somehow sounded more like a shrug. "Tonight's match is all about the screentime. Combatants will be playing the actors in the final confrontation scene of Murder in Moonlight. The only catch is, none of the combatants know which role they've been cast as. Players can take the easy way to stardom and simply win the fight, solidifying their main character status. But only those who can mix competent battle skills and a winning performance on the stage will walk away with the coveted Stabby Award."

Sir Theo stood at that. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I never said anything about handing out awards. Stop making stuff up behind my back and just give them the house rules."

"The house rules are simple. Players may only engage in one on one dueling. For those of you who can't do math, that means two seperate fights will be happening at once. Participants are allowed to switch targets, but ganging up on one person is not allowed. Any player who falls completely off of the gears and touches the safety mats at the very bottom of the set are automatically disqualified. Also, any situation that would result in a death, like getting wedged in the gears, will also result in disqualification (don't worry though; these are prop gears. No way for you to really get hurt.).

"And also, the exits are clearly marked. Anyone who wishes to run away will not be stopped by the HYPER DROME itself, though the other combatants might be a different story. So, without any further ado, let the actors take their places and LET'S GET OUR TUSSLE ON!"

[Beaver Dude]

On a certain world, in a certain place, at a certain time - there was what could undoubtedly be called a hero. He had the tragic past, the rippling biceps, the abs of steel, the brooding nose, the refrigerator girlfriends, the unlikely smarts, a fortune equivalent to the GDP of several small countries, and - most importantly - a face to make the heavens weep in envy and the hubris to believe it all his good fortune came through hard work and hard work alone.

Dee was not that hero.

Dee, in fact, was everything that hero was not: short, weak, unenviously dishevelled (not that anyone could see) and dressed in clothing so poofy he'd have been mistaken for a clown if not for the fact that everything that flew and ate hearts looked somewhat like him. He was also very, very, very poor. His hat alone was made of at least sixteen separate fabrics and the rest of his outfit was fraying at the edges.

"Sir Theo of Haven Haven!" Dee proclaimed.

(Well, that's what it said on the script. In reality, Dee squeaked. With a voicebox capable of either depth and no volume, or volume and chipmunk noises, Dee had chosen to go with volume)

"Your Evil-"

(The Black Mage's voice broke. If that were possible. There was a pause as Dee scrambled for his wits and nearly broke down. Luckily, two glowing eyes and a face completely hidden in shadows was desperately difficult to read)

"Your Evil ends today!" he rallied, cementing his victory with a peace sign that flickered with weak, blue fire.

God. If you have any mercy in Your heart. Kill me now. No- I take that back. KILL ME YESTERDAY.

[Homac]

Fi had entered this odd, summoned world the same way he entered any world that he traveled to: jumping off a gummi ship that he hitched a ride on. He landed, with air flaring out around him in a ring.

He stood up, and spun his lance over his head repeatedly, before bringing it diagnolly behind his back, point facing the floor.

He pointed at Sir Theo with the hand that wasn't being used to hold his lance, and said, "Let's begin."

[Dante]

Gears were loudly churning in this huge clocktower arena, the chains dangling from the unseen roof above. There was an abyss below the competitors that spelled out certain doom for any unlucky fighter. People were making their entrances, some a bit more flamboyant than others. Still, it was the final, epic battle scene for a movie and ornate appearances were all the rage in theaters. That's why the next challenger was sitting on a gear, his legs dangling off of the edge. The gear was like a throne to the fighter, one hand holding his head up and the other across his lap.

This teen was none other than Dante Hyubasi, who was probably one of the most experienced fighters in this arena. Still, looks don't tell anything. As the mechanism rotated, the sound of sarcastic clapping could be heard in a bellowing echo. "Bravo, bravo. I couldn't have made a better appearance myself. Hahaha!" Dante's made-up role was being the sarcastic hero, a rare sight in a movie such as this.

The Ex-Apprentice allowed the gear to churn once more to hide him from view so he could be standing when the cog finally showed him again. Standing, the warrior held his cleaver off of the gear's edge, a smile spread across his face. If you looked closely, you would see that his chin hadn't been shaved for awhile, fuzz beginning to grow. "I feel like fighting Mister Hat over there. He seems to be quite the ominous foe." Oh yeah, Dante was going to win this.

He had already planned out his first moves, thanks to a video game he had played a while back. He doubted that anyone would remember the tactics, so he was good.

[Faust]

Sir Theo took notes of the weapons everyone was holding. Picking up his own, he holstered his pistol and leveled his sword. He smiled, putting on as convincing an air as he could. He had been practicing his opening speech ever since he had announced the contest (but not before; after all, it'd be unfair to have an advantage in preperation time.)

With all three of the newcomers in sight, he began to walk along the edge of the gear he was standing on, just fast enough to stay in one place. "So, you all came. I knew you couldn't resist my summons. Though I suppose you all had your reasons." A wicked, cynical smile for effect; Theo fought the urge to let his eyes stray to the hidden cameras. "My apologies if my idea for a meeting place seemed out of the way, but you know how the folks in blue like interfering with any real business. So, shall we settle this matter once and for all?"

It seemed like everyone was here. Also, Theo noted with a twinge of happiness, they were all mostly willing to play by the DROME's rules. For the sake of his character, it was all he could do to avoid bursting into an excited squeal at how much fun this tussle was shaping up to be.

Above their heads, the voice of the HYPER DROME announced, "Players One through Four, take your positions! Three...two...one...FIGHT!"

Hearing that Player Four (Dante) was going after Player Two (The Dee kid with the hat), Theo hopped off of his gear and began to make his way to Player Three. Grabbing onto a chain, he swung from his platform to a vertical facing gear and grabbed on, riding it almost to where it met another gear before hopping off to another chain, which he swung across until he was directly above him.

"Are you ready for me then, old friend?" With a laugh that just bordered on crazed, Sir Theo came down on his opponent with sword at the ready.

[Beaver Dude]

Dee was panicking. It was very silent panicking that would have involved copious amounts of pacing if he had the room, but since he didn't, it merely involved a lot of shivering and jerking and odd movements that wouldn't have looked terribly out of place on someone taking chemical stimulants of the highly experimental and highly dangerous sort where you kind of half suspected an evil government or corporation was involved and trying to gather as much data as possible through the useless rift-raft of society.

...or someone who was just plain crazy. As the voices inside his head (and thankfully not displayed in loudspeaker) might attest.

"I think Mr. Dee broke."

"Broke-broke-broken! Heee!"

"Yeah. Not every day he tries to remember a script."

"And have it snatched away by some no-good-piehole."

"At em' boy! Err, I mean Mr. Dee! At em' Mr. Dee."

Dee snarled. Still in the high-pitched, genuinely chipmunk fashion, but... more rabied. Like an angry puppy or kitty of doom. "DID YOU JUST INSULT MY HAT?" The hat was very important. It protected many things. Like his face. From. Deadly UV rays. Yeah. Deadly UV rays and sunlight and heatstroke and excess moisture and poisonous fumes and deadly dragons and-

Dee stalked towards the other shuffle alliance member, oblivious to the fact it was a shuffle alliance member he was stalking towards from all of his amazing four feet height.

Dee brandished a glowing fist, crest clearly visible. "TAKE THAT BACK."

[Homac]

Fi spun his lance into a downward position as Sir Theo began to descend on his head.

He then smirked and said, "Aerial attacks are useless. And turnabout is fair play." He then jumped. He flew into the air, going right past Theo, hovered there for a few seconds, and began his descent on Theo's head.

[Dante]

Dante saw the glinting fist of Dee's and his smile suddenly faded into the 'I'm going to kill you brutally' look. He wasn't really going to do such a thing at the moment, though. It was all just to make the scene more interesting. "I see..." The warrior lifted his right hand and showed his own tattoo; The Black Joker symbol. The grin finally took its place on Dante's face once more as he spoke. "You'll have to make me take it back, short stuff. I bet you fifty munny you can't do more than make me flinch."

The Ex-Apprentice was serious about this. When it came to fighting, there was nothing that could stand against Dante without at least a few bruises and deep cuts. The warrior was a beast and no midget man was going to hand him his ass. "Bring it on, little man!" Dante high jumped in the air, letting himself stay airborn as he threw his cleaver at Mr. Hat. The Strike Raid ability would clearly be useful in this bout, allowing him to grab a quick shot in for the first strike.

It seemed that this guy was a Shuffle member, although no clear sign of his strength could be shown. Still, the symbol appeared on those that felt that balance is key to survival in this universe. Dante believed in this fact and the only way to make sure the balance was kept was to rid the Sea of Stars of Madam.

[Faust]

"Waah!" Hopping backwards, Theo avoided the attack by his flying opponent by launching himself off of the gear. Grabbing onto the edge of another horizontal gear, he climbed up and stared at Fi levelly. "I'm surprised to see you, of all people, against me. However, it is nice to see you again, Broussard."

Grabbing a chain that, for whatever reason, was in a perpetual state of going up, he returned to the platform and took a few steps towards Fi, stabbing and slashing with an intent more to guage his opponent than to inflict any real injury.

[Homac]

Fi holstered his lance and jumped to aviod Theo's attacks, then drew the sword on his hip to parry them.

While the two began clash of blades, Fi said, "Well Theo, that's just how it is this time. While we have the chance though, we should test each other to the fullest!"

With that Fi went on the offensive, trying to push Theo back to the edge of the platform.

[Beaver Dude]

A memory of sand and dust and mudbrick walls stirred drowsily, turning and turning in the widening gyre.

Dee ignored it. Eyes examining his opponent's trajectory he activated the artifact that would be the most useful while his brains computed numbers and statistics. It was useful, being an aritificial war machine sometimes. The first three steps of a nine step-plan materialized. It had different modules too depending on contingencies but it would wrap up nicely. All he had asked for was a scratch.

Step 1: avoid attack. Artifact activation 0.3 seconds. Artifact motion time: 0.1 seconds. Total time alotted: 0.4 seconds.

"Zoom zoom."

He had moved forwards about ten feet in the blink of an eye. It was terribly unlikely the weapon would be able to compensate. If it could... well, no matter. It would be forced to hit him from behind which would appear both cowardly and devious. Prime evil-grade material.

Step 2: say something witty and pithy. NO stuttering. Total time alotted: 1.2 seconds.

"HAT!

...500 munny."

Step 3: continue observation. Total time alotted: .4 seconds.

At a height of about twenty meters, and given normal gravity a landing should take 2 seconds. 1.6 seconds have passed. Defend from attack if attacked, if not, wait for reply. As the landing would be suitably dramatic and a 'yes' or higher offer potentially stylistic, likelihood of happening computed at 67%. Note that such a computation occurs in ideal circumstances. Continue observation for any other particular modes of travel and formulate contingencies as applicable.*

*Possibility that the opponent will land on one of the higher gears. If so, see plan Beta : destabilize gear shaft.

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[OOC: XD]

Action Recap: Used [Sonic Thrust]

Ars Arcanum: 2/2
Fire 1: 10/10
Shell Aura: 3/3
Sonic Thrust: 3/4