Xemnas the Superior

[angelous]

Username: Angelus Aevum
Current canons: Angeal, Dr. Doofenshmirtz
Canon you're auditioning for: Xemnas
Media canon is from: the Kingdom Hearts series
Is the current canon taken?: not anymore
Audition post (400 words):

A new day would come. Darkness would descend upon the world when the hour came, but it would be gone again come the first sign of sunrise. Of course, that wouldn’t happen here, not in the World That Never Was. It would be forever dark, and the Heartless swarms would make sure that nothing would change that. Then again, the Nobodies might not let that happen either.

Xemnas, he didn’t really care one way or the other. To him, all that mattered was Nothingness. Well, that and absolute power. Kingdom Hearts was the source of this power, and because of some pests, he did not have it. At least, not yet. Those annoyances, those nuisances wouldn’t stop him this time. No, he had all of the so called Organization Thirteen to thwart them this time. And plenty of Heartless and Nobodies. This time he would succeed. And it would only be a matter of time.

“So old friend, how long has it been since my last visit? I know it has been a while, forgive me. I had some pressing matters to deal with.” Xemnas was in a room to which only he had access. In the center rested a suit of armor, rusted and damaged. And it would appear to anyone who was watching (if they could) that he was talking to the armor. And if that was the case, there was no reply that could be heard. At least, not by the normal ear.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to visit more this time around. With the other members of Organization Thirteen keeping those enemies of mine busy, I shall have more time. Those fools. They believe that getting their hearts back is what truly matters. If they knew the truth, if they knew that they would never see their hearts again, I wonder. How would they act? What do you think, old friend?” Again there was no reply. Xemnas walked around, and was facing the wall, away from the suit of armor.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter. If they believe we are working to gain our hearts back, then I suppose that will just mean they’ll work that much harder. And when the time comes, I’ll cast them aside like the pawns they are. And then I’ll take what I so rightfully deserve. The power of Kingdom Hearts. That fool Ansem the Wise believes that the world I tried to create would fail. And were it not for the interference, it would have made it. After all, the master surpassed the teacher, in both knowledge, and power. He was just jealous. After all, what did he have left to rule? Nothing. With his studies came the loss of his kingdom. And he could’ve went back to rebuild, but no. He felt he was honor bound to stop me. He failed.”

Xemnas turned and walked to the door, which opened. “Until next time.” Xemnas left the room, and returned to his throne. When he reached it he sat down.

“I believe it is time for my plans to be put into action. Saïx, Xigbar, Luxord. I know you’re here. It is time to assemble the others. We have work to do.” The three who were called out appeared, nodded, then left. “Soon. Soon all will be as it should be. And that is what matters most.”

[Akito]

I'll withhold official judgment since it -may- be reasoned I may not be objective, but I'm actually not too fond of this. I played Xemnas once myself so I think I have some insight to his personality.

You're not malevolent enough. Not mysterious and grandiose enough. Xemnas is melodramatic and majestic. Your narrative was too casual, too relaxed for someone like him. Your dialogue was second rate. Half way, it was like listening to an annoying girlfriend trying to tell you about her day. As with the narrative, he was too casual as well. Xemnas speaks in abstract formality.

This is just me being anal, but try not to repeat the same wordplay so quickly after another. For example in your third chunk of dialogue, you used 'I suppose' twice in succession. And then you used 'Afterall' twice in succession. It makes Xemnas look like he has a limited vocabulary and he doesn't with the gibberish he spouts in the game.

End complaint.

[Rhea]

I like that you centered the audition on Xemnas this time. The problem is you completely erased all interaction with the other characters - so that takes away from the outer personality. (I'm not counting the few sentences at the end.) There needs to be a happy medium where he's not just rambling to himself (or the suit of armor) but you're also not just cramming a ton of other characters in your audition. There needs to be outer and inner personality.

Anyways, I'm still not seeing Xemnas in this. He's too whiny and the rambling gets boring. I agree with Akito, you need to work on the personality (and word choice).

1/2 Denied.

[Iris|Kairi]

There is a way to make an audition with only one person in it that shows inner and outer personality. I have done it. I honestly prefer auditions like that. I don't think there has to be true interaction with a character to show outer personality (but it can be argued either way. Just my opinion). Occasionally there must be one other person in there, but my general stand is that in the WAY that you did it is better. You didn't crowd it and dilute the audition. You focused on the character you want. It just truly takes a deep understanding of the character and how they speak, act, project and think. It's something that can't be forced. And though the WAY you did it is better...the words between those quotes don't sound like Xemnas at all.

2/2 denied. Maybe play the games again? Akito is dead on with what he said, so if you want to try again, he gave you some tips up there.