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Post by Akito on Jun 17, 2009 4:32:15 GMT -5
An attractive, barely legal, female student comes to a young teacher's office after hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam,"
She leans in closer, flips back her hair and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," She whispers in a sultry tone, belaying her young , tender age, "I would do anything,"
The young teacher perks up and returns her gaze, asking in a hush, "...Anything?"
"Anything," She replies firmly.
His voice turns to a whisper, "Would you...study?"
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Post by Rhea on Jun 20, 2009 17:22:38 GMT -5
A man has been sitting in a bar for several hours just staring at his drink without touching it. Another man, a big trucker type, sits next to the man and takes his drink, chugging it all down. The first man starts crying, and, feeling bad, the second man apologizes and offers to buy him a new drink.
The first man shakes his head and says, "No, this has just been the worst day of my life. First I'm late to my job and my boss fires me. Then when I go to leave the office, my car has been stolen. I called a cab to take me home, and after the car drives away I realize I left my wallet and credit cards in it. When I finally get into my house my wife is in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And just when I'm ready to end my life, you come in and drink my poison."
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Post by lysander on Jun 25, 2009 11:45:14 GMT -5
A young quantum physicist is a regular at this bar, and every weekend he sits down at the same table, in the same chair, leaves an empty chair across from him, and orders two beers but never drinks the second. This goes on for years and years, and the bartender, an elderly type, never questions it. However, as the years pass and the young man continues this strange behavior, the bartender finally starts getting curious. Eventually he works up the nerve to ask about it.
When asked, the young man takes on a studious look, contemplates exactly how to answer, and does so. "Well, quantum physics tells us that there is a small possibility that a beautiful woman could appear sitting in that chair across from me if the proper molecular requirements were met. If that happens, I want to be prepared."
The bartender frowns a quizzical frown. "Can't you just ask a girl to come sit with you?"
The quantum physicist replies curtly. "Yeah, but what are the odds of that ever working?"
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Post by Ryu-star! on Jun 25, 2009 12:14:14 GMT -5
Bob was in trouble. As it turns out, he had forgotten it was his wedding anniversary that day, as he found out when his wife stormed up and shouted;
"Look. Tomorrow, I want to see something that goes from zero to two hundred in six seconds sitting in the driveway. And it had better be there."
The next morning, the wife woke up and looked out the window to see a small box sitting in the driveway. Picking it up and bringing it inside, she opened it to see an electric scale sitting inside.
Bob hasn't been seen since. |
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I did post in shades of grey if anyone even remembers that lmao