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Post by Night Sky on Aug 2, 2009 19:57:15 GMT -5
Username: Night Sky
Current canons: none
Canon you desire: Sora
Username of current canon: FM's White Night
Has the canon holder been informed of the challenge? Yes they have.
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High's .Valentine.
Administrator
The Old Man Lover[M:-5388]
Oh you're INVINCIBLE!
Posts: 1,425 
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Post by High's .Valentine. on Aug 2, 2009 22:57:50 GMT -5
Due to circumstances, your challenge is denied by the staff.
Locked.
Situation's been sorted out. Commence challengeee!
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Post by yami on Aug 4, 2009 22:24:39 GMT -5
As requested via PM, being the canon holder I've requested the challenger make the first audition. Once he's posted, I will post my own audition.
Username: yami (FM's White Knight)
Current canons: Sora, Cloud
Canon you desire: Defending Sora in my canon roster.
Username of current canon: yami (FM's White Night)
Has the canon holder been informed of the challenge? I've been notified and am ready.
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Post by Night Sky on Aug 6, 2009 21:13:58 GMT -5
Here goes.
Most people recognize Sora as nothing more than the Keyblades Chosen One. But before all that he was just a regular teenage youth on a secluded little island.
Soras eyes were fixated on a single target. Tightening his grip on his sword he felt the blood inside him pump harder and harder. A cool western breeze passed by him wiping the sweat collected on his forehead. He carefully stepped sideways not taking his eyes off his opponent for one second. Sora knew that there wouldn't be any forgiveness if he messed this up. He felt a sudden pulse of energy surge through his body Commanding him to React.
Sora: Alright Riku, today is the day I win this fight. Here comes my special technique. HYAA!
Thwack... thwack... thwack...
He stood just a few feet from where his opponent was lying on the ground. Sora made sure that last attack counted.
Sora: Huff huff had enough?
Lying on the ground was definetly not Riku, but a straw dummy with a painted image of Riku poorly drawn on the dummy's head. Sora was never the greatest artist as it showed in the numerous drawings inside the secret cave. But it was good enough to give him a mental picture of his best friend and rival. Each time he saw that painted dummy's face he could hear Riku in the back of his head.
Riku: Whats wrong Sora? You had enough already?
It was annoying to hear him say that, but those words was the fuel that kept Sora pushing himself harder. Riku was not only his rival and friend, but something to aspire to. If Sora could be just as cool and strong as Riku was, then maybe he had what it took to be a real hero.
He had spent most of the day practicing new moves on the dummy to prepare himself for their 12th sword match. Riku had already one 11 of those, but he promised Sora that if he just won one ,that he would officially claim Sora to be the best on the island. It was more than enough for Sora to wake up early today and practice all day. But it was getting around lunch time and his stomach was painfully reminding him that he hadn't eaten today. He rubbed his stomach as he put down his wooden sword.
Sora: Uuugh, I guess its time for lunch.
Sora was now at the beach sitting at the edge of the dock holding a fishing rod in his hand. He'd been there for almost thirty minutes staring that the water and waiting for a bite, but he was having no luck at all. He would have gone home to eat but his mom would have made him stay to do chores ...or study, and that doesn't help Sora out with his training. He fell back and gazed at the blue sky.
Sora: I wonder if it'll be easier to catch fish once we finish our boat and set out for the sea.
Sora was very excited about this special trip he Riku and Kairi had been planning all summer. They would get to explore strange and exciting new worlds together and maybe even figure out where Kairi came from. Although he was glad that someone like her came into their lives, Sora couldn't help but wonder where she originally came from. What other worlds were out there, and what where the people like? Sora wanted to go and see all of them. As his mind was starting to drift, Sora heard some grunting sounds nearby.
He looked over to his left and saw an old man pulling a rope from the sea, he wasn't sure what it was but whatever it is it sure was heavy. He remembered how strong Riku was and how he could make dozens of Paopu fruits fall out of a tree by just striking it with one punch. Without a second thought Sora ran to the old man and started pulling the rope as well.
Sora: Ready? One...two...THREE!!!
After several tugs and some last minute leaps of strength they finally pulled out a net filled with nothing but fish. To thank Sora for his kindness he left him with some fish for him to have. Sora lifted his arm up attempting to flex some muscles in those skinny arms of his. It was crazy to think he and that old man were able to pull out that many fish by themselves.
A fire was made, Sora sat down and held the fish next to it. The sensational aroma of fresh cooked fish danced around Soras nose. Once it was fully cooked Sora blew on it and opened wide, slowly moving the fish towards his mouth. Then he heard some heavy breathing behind him. He turned around and saw a scruffy looking puppy sitting there eying nothing but the fish. Sora looked at the delicious fish then back at the dog. It was right then that he was reminded of how Kairi always took in stray dogs and fed them. So Sora shared some of his fish with the puppy until it was satisfied and left.
It was getting late now and he decided to head back home to get some rest for tomorrow. As he headed back home with his sword and dummy, some kids were running towards him carrying sticks with them and playing. It was just like when he was little. One kid though didn't have one and was just chasing after them. Sora stopped the little boy and handed him his wooden sword. The boy thanked him and ran off to join his friends.
Sora figured they could postpone their fight for another day until he made another sword. Besides, Riku was gonna need all the practice he could get.
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Post by yami on Aug 9, 2009 0:46:18 GMT -5
OOC: This is it Night Sky! This is my answer for you.  "Every heart is connected by a single thread; a thread of darkness or light..."
With no time to delay, he summons the keyblade and dashes in to attack. These are no ordinary creatures. Lusting for pure hearts, they've come to the Hero of Light before. "Hyah! Hah, take this!" He raises his arm into the air; summoning down bolts of lightning in order to finish off his enemies. All seems to be well as the creatures fade away into the darkness which they came. "Are you alright?" Offering the victim his right hand to help her up, he flashes a friendly smile. "It's alright, they won't hurt you now." Yet no sooner comes a quick slap. His outstretched palm batted away by the one he saved.
"I don't need your help."
Surprised and a little bit confused, Sora looks into the girl's eyes. They're a lush hazelnut, yet they seem...distant. She hasn't said anything else, her back simply turning to him. "W-wait a minute, look...those creatures are called heartless. If you're not careful, they'll come after you again." Yet there is no response, instead she continues to walk ahead. Her actions lack flair, but it's easy to see this is a strong young woman...at least mentally.
"Don't go, we should stick together!"
Offering his company in these times of loneliness was the best solution. Besides, it seemed he was stranded here without his friends also. Once more he was greeted by an uneasy silence. He looked around, hesitant at first. This really wasn't the best of introductions that he'd made---
"Sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Sora!"
Raising both his arms behind his head in a makeshift pillow, he crosses his right leg over his left. When he sees her turn to look at him, his eyelids close; flashing a grin of pearly whites.
"I...can't remember my name but we should get going. This is the Land of Dragons...I think."
"Land of Dragons---oh! Mulan and Mushu should be somewhere nearby. If you come with me, I can introduce you to my friends---"
"...I don't want to see them."
His expression changing to that of shock, his jaw dropping slightly as his eyes ask the obvious question.
"Why not...?"
...More awkward silence consumes the two, yet it's interrupted by the footsteps of the young lady moving forward. Taking the time to analyze some details, the girl's hair is strung up into a high pony-tail toward the back. Said Pony tail going past the middle of her back. Her hair is brown in hue. From the front her bangs are somewhat long, a bit unruly even. The most obvious feature to this stranger is that her clothes are not common-place here. If he was to take her word at face value, then they're in Land of Dragons, yet her attire.
"Why's she dressed in a school uniform? I mean...it's not like the one back home but, it certainly looks like one."
Sora, now being caught up in his own musing, fails to realize the distance the girl has made between them.
"H-hey, wait up!"
As if he'd leave a girl who was just attacked by heartless alone. Why, she'd have to...she'd have to...well Sora just wasn't going to leave the headstrong damsel alone! None of that on his watch, yet he couldn't help but look to the side as if searching for friendly approval. His time traveling with friends had made such a reaction common place. Usually looking to Donald or Goofy for direction, it was now up to him and him alone. Taking up a light jog, he proceeds to catch up to her and take his position to her right.
"So um...where you from?"
At least Sora was TRYING to make headway. The continued silence, spare the sounds of footsteps, confirmed the massive wall he had to break down. Even with his optimism, Sora himself could feel the frown creeping up on his features. He was getting the cold shoulder, clearly. Though this was different from the usual cold shoulder he got from Riku. It lacked...punch, perhaps? No, it was clear this person was lonely and in need of help. Raising his left hand to cusp his chin, he fell into a bit of thought. He couldn't put his finger on his thoughts just now. "Maybe she...?" His eyes reflected a bit of curiosity now. Everything was slowly coming together and his thoughtful expression turned into a grin.
Finally, he had something witty to say! Why, he'd figured out this girl's unusual demeanor but before he could announce it---
"I'd like to go home...my friends need me. As Chief...I... Never mind. It's none of your concern."
There'd be no time for further rebuttal from Sora however. Just as they reached a mountain pass, Neo Shadows circled the duo. On instinct he dashes in front of her. His left arm extended outwards motioning for her to--- "Stay back, I'll protect you."
Turning her back on his valiant proposal, the two stare down the Neo Shadows. A gust of eastern wind blows between the two, ruffling their hair. It was a classic moment, painting a time that he'd forever remember.
"Sora...was it? Lower your weapon, I'll take care of this one."
"B-but--"
He was cut off by a simple hand gesture which he caught from the corner of his eye. He had looked over his left shoulder to see it. That was when he turned around to completely look to her, albeit from the back. Her ponytail continued to flow in the wind as silence blanketed the otherwise tense atmosphere. The Neo-Shadows whom initially circled them were now moving so they could attack from the front of the girl. Her left arm slowly extended outwards, fingers tensing and unfolding with each passing gust.
"I believe I owe you a favour now, yes? I'll make it up to you..."
It was then that a flash of pure white light consumed the area from her left hand outwards. Yet it was at this moment which Sora's expression changed to shock.
"A---"
_____________________________________
To be Continued
OOC: Figured I'd end on a cliff-hanger. |
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Post by nascent on Aug 14, 2009 1:10:18 GMT -5
Okay, this is the first time I've done one of these, so here goes... Night Sky Strong Points:• You clearly understand Sora's personality and motivations to a strong degree. I was impressed with the light you cast on how he views Riku in particular. • You made certain to emphasize the influence Riku and Kairi have on Sora's thinking, a significant aspect that people tend to overlook when examining his personality. • Everything you had Sora doing was believable for his character, from fighting the Riku straw dummy to helping the fisherman to giving the puppy a fish (though I must wonder how a dog got onto the island; also, giving away his wood sword was, in my opinion, a bit too saintly). Weak Points:• This might come off as somewhat abstract and elitist, but... as much as you did tell a good story about Sora it didn't feel like Sora. The writing has a list-like "this happened, then this happened" aspect about it that's just dry, lacking a lot of crucial tactile details that give the reader a sense of "seeing through a character's eyes". How can I explain...? Well, it's one thing to tell someone about a character, and something entirely different to make them feel as if they are the character when reading. Effective writing creates empathy between reader and character, a vital connection that sustains believability and creates interest. This is the major weak point in your audition. • Secondly, there was scarce little dialogue. If there had been more, even if it was Sora's own thoughts in the form of inner monologue, a much stronger sense of the character would have been present in the story you told. FM's White Knight! Strong Points:• You handle Sora's dialogue and physical presence very effectively (when I read "Raising both his arms behind his head in a makeshift pillow, he crosses his right leg over his left. When he sees her turn to look at him, his eyelids close; flashing a grin of pearly whites." I could see him in my mind as if it were a cutscene from the games!). Plus you got the impulsive, foot-in-mouth heroic antics vibe down fairly well on his behavior, yet there's also the underlying fact that he's just a kid at heart needing friends, approval, and the world to be as simple and straightforward as it can be. Well balanced presentation overall. • Even though there's not a strong focus on sensory details, your pacing and the fact that the audition at times reads like it's being narrated by Sora or someone with an equal fascination with campy heroics really sells it in my mind. • Plus, the progression from one thing to another makes it seem very much like we're seeing everything through Sora's eyes -- it's hard to ask yourself "what would Sora do next?" and not find a good answer waiting a line or two down at most. The writing style used is fluid, straight-forward, and clips along at a brisk pace, all very appropriate for someone like Sora. Weak Points:• Though I understand why you did it that way, it seemed like the focus shifted frequently from Sora to the mystery school girl in the second half of the audition. There was kind of a "straight man, funny man" play going there, but it seemed like the "straight man" was getting most of the attention. Still, this is a minor flaw in an otherwise effective post. VERDICT:
The canon character Sora will be played by... FM's White Knight! |
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Post by Akito on Aug 14, 2009 9:14:50 GMT -5
Hands up who bribed me. Neither of you? Whaaaa? How am I supposed to make a decision now?
I won't beat around the bush, I fancy FM's White Knight's audition. I don't suppose anyone would care for the reason, but I want to make an effort to do so. I apologize if I end up repeating you, Nascent, I figured I'd avoid any predisposition or bias from reading your very convincing reasoning, I'm sure.
Alright, firstly, you're both able writers, but you have different styles and, in this case, FWK's was more effective; it showed character. It showed introspection. It showed Sora as a sentient being capable of real human cognition.
Sorry, Night, but I get the feeling you don't have as good a grasp on Sora's already very vague personality. I read yours and it sounded more like a second person recount. Sora did this, then he did that, then he did something else too. You needed to stop for thought and reflection more.
Hm, FMK, I wasn't too thrilled about Sora sharing the lime light with this other girl. She provided a foil for his personality, yes, but she also detracted from Sora himself. Introducing this interesting, strong Rin-like character of yours could've cost you xD But, the overall quality of the post made up for this in a big way. Sora's mannerisms as an individual came through regardless.
Night, are you sure you weren't being too shallow in your interpretation of Sora? An innocent, good hearted kid who wants to beat his rival. Okay. Sure? What else? Well, it's a bit nitpicky about detail, but technically this forum assumes KH2 already took place and while the Sora you portrayed may have fit him in the start of KH1; he has actually matured.
As final words, I do hope this doesn't detract you from trying for other canons. You're capable of it, but frankly someone here is better than you at Sora plan and simple. Congratulations on defending your title FMK.
-cough-weneedadonaldandmoreorgmembers-cough-
-cough-iwishwehadanauronandhewouldjointhergrc-cough-
Am I being subtle enough?
Normally, I'd lock this thread; but this was a rather well done canon challenge. I enjoyed comparing the two conceptions of Sora. So, would either of you like to offer final thoughts?
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Post by Night Sky on Aug 15, 2009 17:23:43 GMT -5
Other than thanking you for telling me the faults I made in my audition so I can do better the next time around, theres not much I can say. But this isn't going to be the last time I challenge White Knight. Now that I know what I need improvements on I can say that once the month is over I'll be able to make a better challenge post.
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Post by Akito on Aug 15, 2009 19:04:29 GMT -5
xD Good thing you're not after Riku.
Well, if nobody has anything else to say, this clash has reached its conclusion.
Locked
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I did post in shades of grey if anyone even remembers that lmao