Post by III on Aug 23, 2009 18:01:23 GMT -5
OOC: This was the original Kefka audition. I figured Ange would want proof that Kefka could be a pirate. 
Kefka had been brilliant, once. Strategist, diplomat, warrior, poet, experiment, and much more besides. He was insane now, of course (insane, not delusional, hee, hee!), but such things happened. It was how the world ran and turned and burned burned burned.
Wind whipped at his hair. Actually, wind whipped at everything, lashing through his garish make-up and sawing through his colourful threads with the same intensity as it did his straw-yellow ponytail. Somewhere close, thunder cracked and boomed. It’d probably rain – just to make the day complete.
He’d have to re-apply the whiteface. Window-dressing was important.
“Boss?”
Kefka looked down from his perch on the mainmast of the Mighty Tighty. It was, he was almost certain, the first flying pirate tugboat in the history of forever. It had come complete with a talking budgie and a semi-functional pirate crew. The budgie had met an unfortunate end after Kefka had accidentally-on purpose jumped on it a few times. He was still working on the pirate crew.
(As for the tugboat, he was hoping to burn it the moment they got back to port.)
“Yeeeees?”
There had been some… unfortunate consequences to dying. One was a sarcastic drawl that tended to strike without warning.
Yup. Truly unfortunate.
“We’ve almost arrived. Hollow Bastion should be visible soon.”
The ex-God nodded. “Son of a submariner. Finally.”
‘Hollow Bastion’. Silly name. Suitable for a silly place ruled by a silly queen. He’d learned of it after a mysterious summons (the nerve!) claiming that ‘they’ had similar goals and oh, wouldn’t it be nice to throw one gigantic picnic of eveel at blah blah blah coordinates?
Pfah. As a very personal favour to this mysterious summoner, the ex-God of Magic had spent the last few days trying to figure out how to blow this world into itty-bitty little bits armed with naught but a pirate crew and his own horrifically senile wits.
And the tugboat. Can’t forget the tugboat.
“I think,” Kefka announced grandly as he balanced upon one foot, still perched precariously upon the mainmast, his multi-colored clothes fluttering like a set of extremely awkward streamers, “that we should all have a tea party before we get down to busy-ness.”
There was a silence, pregnant with unvoiced meaning and horrific bloodshed. The pirate was the first to break it.
“Boss?”
“Yus?”
“You’re crazy, boss. Just lettin’ ya know.”
Kefka debated the merits of beating the pirate to death with his own pirate flag or yelling OBJECTION! before deciding upon a robust: “You’re fired!” He made ‘bzaping’ motions with his fingers that would have, on a different world, made the pirate explode into gory chunks of flesh and probably mangled all relatives on both ends of the tree. In this one though, it merely made the poor sod shake his head and sigh before going back through the hatch.
“I’m not crazy.” Kefka told the wind petulantly. “Only a *little* insane.”
The wind howled. Kefka flipped it the bird and decided that he’d start with poisoning the atmosphere.
“Uhee, hee, hee.”
Kefka had been brilliant, once. Strategist, diplomat, warrior, poet, experiment, and much more besides. He was insane now, of course (insane, not delusional, hee, hee!), but such things happened. It was how the world ran and turned and burned burned burned.
Wind whipped at his hair. Actually, wind whipped at everything, lashing through his garish make-up and sawing through his colourful threads with the same intensity as it did his straw-yellow ponytail. Somewhere close, thunder cracked and boomed. It’d probably rain – just to make the day complete.
He’d have to re-apply the whiteface. Window-dressing was important.
“Boss?”
Kefka looked down from his perch on the mainmast of the Mighty Tighty. It was, he was almost certain, the first flying pirate tugboat in the history of forever. It had come complete with a talking budgie and a semi-functional pirate crew. The budgie had met an unfortunate end after Kefka had accidentally-on purpose jumped on it a few times. He was still working on the pirate crew.
(As for the tugboat, he was hoping to burn it the moment they got back to port.)
“Yeeeees?”
There had been some… unfortunate consequences to dying. One was a sarcastic drawl that tended to strike without warning.
Yup. Truly unfortunate.
“We’ve almost arrived. Hollow Bastion should be visible soon.”
The ex-God nodded. “Son of a submariner. Finally.”
‘Hollow Bastion’. Silly name. Suitable for a silly place ruled by a silly queen. He’d learned of it after a mysterious summons (the nerve!) claiming that ‘they’ had similar goals and oh, wouldn’t it be nice to throw one gigantic picnic of eveel at blah blah blah coordinates?
Pfah. As a very personal favour to this mysterious summoner, the ex-God of Magic had spent the last few days trying to figure out how to blow this world into itty-bitty little bits armed with naught but a pirate crew and his own horrifically senile wits.
And the tugboat. Can’t forget the tugboat.
“I think,” Kefka announced grandly as he balanced upon one foot, still perched precariously upon the mainmast, his multi-colored clothes fluttering like a set of extremely awkward streamers, “that we should all have a tea party before we get down to busy-ness.”
There was a silence, pregnant with unvoiced meaning and horrific bloodshed. The pirate was the first to break it.
“Boss?”
“Yus?”
“You’re crazy, boss. Just lettin’ ya know.”
Kefka debated the merits of beating the pirate to death with his own pirate flag or yelling OBJECTION! before deciding upon a robust: “You’re fired!” He made ‘bzaping’ motions with his fingers that would have, on a different world, made the pirate explode into gory chunks of flesh and probably mangled all relatives on both ends of the tree. In this one though, it merely made the poor sod shake his head and sigh before going back through the hatch.
“I’m not crazy.” Kefka told the wind petulantly. “Only a *little* insane.”
The wind howled. Kefka flipped it the bird and decided that he’d start with poisoning the atmosphere.
“Uhee, hee, hee.”
I did post in shades of grey if anyone even remembers that lmao