Ceil -Done-

[Mr. Snickers]

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~Basic info~

Behind every great individual, there is that voice which keeps them going onward and toward their next great adventure. [/center][/i]

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Username ~ : Mr. Snickers

Other characters ~ : None

Is this character canon? ~ : No

Link to audition thread ~ : None

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~Character Info~

Waking up in the morning, your thoughts are cluttered. It takes a moment for you to fully become aware of your surroundings, but once you do, everything about your life comes back to you.[/center][/b][/i]

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Name ~ : Ceil Silverfen

Age ~ : 17

Birthplace ~ : The World That Never Was

Gender ~ : Male

Race ~ : Human

Special Class ~ : None

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~Appearance~

As you are heading out the door of your house, a small glimmer of light catches your eye. You turn around and see a mirror, putting you face to face with your reflection.

[/b][/i]

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Physical appearance ~ : Ceil would be seen as a rather tall lanky individual, his dirty blond hair in what seems to be a permanent disarray covering much of his face leaving only the almost playful smile to be seen spreading across his mug as if both mocking and confident. Moving down lower one can easily tell he does keep up his physic though not to the extent of it noticeable. He is toned with a hardly noticed six pack trailing up his abdomen. Going back to his now uncovered face, one can see he is (despite the pedo grin he sports 90% of the time) a handsome teenager with pale baby blues and a meaningful gaze.

Clothing/Accessories ~ : Like the rest of him he also dresses in a misguided attempt at fashion having little sense for his style of clothing. Normally he is seen in black and red baggy pants that trail the ground which to some comical relief he trips on quite often. his shirt is a skin tight red piece with two long lines of cloth running down his chest in an X shape, the outlining is like the rest of the outfit very black in contrast to his normally sunny personality. On his ears are two long chains with a heart on each of them (In the normal KH fashion.) that hang just out of view of the rest of his face being hidden most of the time unless the wind gives a strong gust. Around his neck is a long chain that hangs over his shirt with another three X’s accompanied by one heart in which the middle X holds just below. On his wrists are two checkered (red and black) wrist bands completing the outfit.

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~Personality~

As you're walking through the door, you see many sights that influence your mood. The different feelings that suddenly wash over you are many, leaving you with a strange mix of emotions.

[/i]

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Alignment ~ : Neutral

Behavior ~ : Though not totally over confident in his fighting skill Ceil is exceptionally good though is seen to avoid fights when he can, finding that him fighting some one would be a waist of time because of the fact that a sword cant reason with the mind. even if it is the case that that mind would in fact be reasoned with a good fight, or trashing, or even a nice beating, Which he can and if need will do.

Spirit: despite his strange alignment of neutrality he will on an occasion help a traveler of the light if it so benefits himself. Similar to that of the Cheshire cat in wonderland he tends to be more well informed then an average person, keeping a small note book to document the happenings of each world as he come and goes. Finding the *gossip* a fun distraction from the norm. In fact he could be called a person he treads the fringes of twilight, to one who could understand the true meaning behind the words.

Confident Courage: Ceil is seen to be quite the warrior when forced to the battle field. never to back down unless needed and not at all brash about his decisions despite his young age. The boy is able to pinpoint the weaknesses or openings of his opponent and base his style around that though not perfectly. He is brave, and will stand behind what he believes to be the right curse of action. Even if that means cutting someone down.

Laughable Villain: Ceil in many ways is a great villain. Though if one knew him well enough they could only snicker (haha) at the possibility of him truly being evil. Doubting even a heartless version of himself could really be *bad*. The more nefarious deeds he is seen to do normally have an alternate course of action behind them, and are reviled in a somewhat idiot proof way once things are needed to in fact be explained.

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~Weapons~

Suddenly, a Heartless appears in front of you, brandishing its claws and threatening to attack. You reach for your weapon and equip it, ready to defend yourself.

[/i][/b]

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Primary Weapon(s)

ID: Inked Heart
Quality: Average.

[Despite its name Ceil’s blade is not pure black. Standing at just over 24 inches the blade length takes much of the whole offering an extremely long reach suitable for his fighting style. Over the course of his using this blade he has become proficient in handling himself, though it is partly due to his abilities that he has stayed alive for so long. when not in use the katana is normally in his left hand for ease of use having an extremely quick draw and strike range a frontal attack is not wise when dealing with Ceil at any level.]

Secondary Weapon(s)

ID: Twin Hearts

[At his waist Ceil is seen to hold two small cutting daggers meant to slice not pierce. The edge is as sharp as much anything else one might find, able to cut through nobody and heartless alike with not much more difficulty then a knife through butter. The handles curve and show strange lines that seem like hearts intertwining before going down to a small bangle like steel tassle that is seen to jingle similar to a bell when used. The bangle is in the shape of a up side down heart which weighs about as much as an average silver dollar.]

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~Abilities~

Just as you're about to fight the creature, you feel the power of your ancestors filling you. The strength of a thousand men courses through your veins as you prepare for battle.

[/i][/b]

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AP left:

[Ten Wheel Sonic Cut]
[Ceil’s form of offense would be this little trick, when combined with his second ability he can easily slash away multiple attacks with ease. Though even this has its limits which will be gone over soon, the core of this ability is in his arm focusing most of his speed through the muscles of his right arm, he can slash up to ten times in what could be normally a single slash of his katana. At first one might think this is every bit as OP as it sounds and to most it would be. I mean come on, ten strikes of the sword in what takes the time of one strike? psh yea right DENIED! haha. but then think of it this way. Close combat is Ceil’s main offense none of that magic stuff, so he in fact has more time to train up on his skill in the blade, along with his secondary skill. This skill in fact is only a skill due to its base streaming from Ceil’s secondary. The reason it is primary is because speed does allot of nothing unless you count running and kinetic force. Which all in all Ceil does not have. The ability is practically worthless if kept at a distance. All in all Sonic Slash is indeed a monstrous ability. however it is only truly powerful if used right. No more then an edge in defense or a god modders dream attack if not.]

Strength: Strong
Uses: Controlled.

[Speed]
[Ceil has the ability to move at enhanced speeds for a set amount of time, and normally only uses this time in conjuction with his first ability. Speed however can be used multiple times in a battle with a cool down of 10 seconds (average of two posts) and thus is seen more often then that of his Sonic Cut. This speed also gives him enhanced reflexes and even aerial combat to a point. Being able to move freely within a set scope or area, this is only enhanced by his lithe body. He CANNOT fly though and is only able to uses solid surfaces to jump from.]

Strength: intermediate
Uses: Passive


Items

1.

2.


Equips

1.

2.

3.


Special Abilities

N/A


Minions

N/A


Summons

N/A

[/blockquote]

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~History~

As you slay the last of the beasts, you put your weapon aside, and walk away, knowing your tale of bravery will be told for thousands of years to come.

[/b][/i]

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--~-- he who bares one heart and no heart --~--

Ceil was born of one of the darkest worlds, the world that never was. so one could say he never was either. A human who was not human, not a heartless, nor a nobody but that of a human that had never been nor ever was. Complicated being a more commonly used term for the idea in place of his past and current state of life. Only wandering to wander, and only living because he was bored. there really is not much to tell of his past life nor his current seeing as nothing of true importance has happened yet. However what is none can be stated here in this small segment of one who looks human acts human has the heart of a human yet never knew what being human was. here is the past of Ceil Silverfen...

--~-- unlocking a lock that was never locked --~--

The world that never was seems dreary just thinking about it, the fact that some one like Ceil even knew about the place little lone was born there shows just how much of a small worlds the universe really is.

As a child he used to run around the illuminated city, watching the city folk (hehe) walk by from atop buildings or crates in which he called his *club* house. The city was his playground and he was its ruler, the top dog. That was until the light burned out and they came. The heartless swarmed like locus stealing away the hearts of everyone he used to play with. the adults who smiled and laughed at his antics. Everything fell to the hoards that followed the darkness. even now they still sleep among the ruins of what once was a city that illuminated the world itself, waiting for more hearts there numbers constantly growing.

Over time he had learned how to hide from them, to travel under the scope of there sight and fight when absolutely needed only because it meant survival. Acquiring the weapons he now uses to fend off against the oncoming hoards though no matter what he did they never truly died out. If anything they only grew stronger, the hearts slowly reforming into new more powerful heartless each time he made waist of one, it was never ending.

That was until the castle fell from nowhere and everywhere seemingly appearing just because it could.

--~-- men who wore black yet lived in white --~--

You never hear of them when speaking of the heartless, because they never should have been and yet they were. They had come with the world, a scientific reject from a long thought gone past. The organization. Ceil had seen them once or twice yet never dared approach them. The thought not even daring to register in his mind. he however had gathered some intelligence on them, based upon what he saw when they came out of the rare occasion.

There were fourteen of them originally, or so the number of cloaks told him. they were dominated by a male population and though he noticed there sudden lack of number none but a few seemed phased by the apparent loss of a comrade.

Ceil had traveled the rooftops looking on at the grand castle that stared down upon the city in blatant authority. Its pure white glow casting a lighter picture of the city though it never seemed to throw off the heartless. They lessened but not by much, still swarms seemed to feed off of the humans like cattle.

--~--Light that should have been the end of the tunnel--~--

He still sits in the world that never was, and watches as time goes by wishing for a way out wanting like anyone who knows to much, to know even more of how things work on the outside world/s.

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~Class~

Before you embark on your journey a vision comes upon you. You see three weapons in front of you.

~ A sword of terrible destruction - The power of the warrior: Invincible courage.

~ A shield to repel all - The power of the guardian: Kindness to aid friends.

~ A staff of wonder and ruin - The power of the mystic: Inner strength.

You know that one of them must be chosen. What power will you seek?

[/b]

[Ceil steps forth onto the first pedicel, grabbing the blade in an iron grip. Firm determination grounded him into this reality. His eyes fearsome as he lifts the steel pointing it out before himself dispelling the illusion. ]

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~Other~

[N/A]

[lysander]

EDIT: I said a lot... I really, really said a lot. Try to take it piece by piece. There really is a lot of potential in this guy, so read what I had to say, and give yourself some time.

Let's get right to business.

You've got a good profile.

[Ten Wheel Sonic Cut]
[Ceil’s form of offense would be this little trick, when combined with his second ability he can easily slash away multiple attacks with ease. Though even this has its limits which will be gone over soon, the core of this ability is in his arm focusing most of his speed through the muscles of his right arm, he can slash up to ten times in what could be normally a single slash of his katana. At first one might think this is every bit as OP as it sounds and to most it would be. I mean come on, ten strikes of the sword in what takes the time of one strike? psh yea right DENIED! haha. but then think of it this way. Close combat is Ceil’s main offense none of that magic stuff, so he in fact has more time to train up on his skill in the blade, along with his secondary skill. This skill in fact is only a skill due to its base streaming from Ceil’s secondary. The reason it is primary is because speed does allot of nothing unless you count running and kinetic force. Which all in all Ceil does not have. The ability is practically worthless if kept at a distance. All in all Sonic Slash is indeed a monstrous ability. however it is only truly powerful if used right. No more then an edge in defense or a god modders dream attack if not.]

Strength: Strong
Uses: Controlled.

Ten slashes in the time it takes to make one? You're right, that's definitely on the Overpowered side of the spectrum, but you're spending the 6AP on it for it to be a strong ability; as far as abilities are concerned, it's fine. So before I get into what I think ought to change let me first say this. Boy, this is a fun read.

Two main issues, one is kind of easy, the other is a little bit less easy.

Easy: To even use this ability, your speed enhancement has to be active, correct?

Less Easy: Under the Uses category, you wrote "Controlled". That really doesn't tell me a whole lot, but that's okay, considering. Typically, when we're talking about uses, we have a few different basic things to look for.

Charge: The time it takes fulfill initial requirements for this ability. You have to charge your lazorz, before you can fire them, right?
Cooldown: The amount of time in between uses. "After I fire my lazorz, how many turns until I can charge up and fire them again?"
Total: This is, simply, the total amount of times you can use this ability in a single battle. "I can fire my lazorz five times in a battle before my throat starts hurting."

These are only the basics as far as Uses are concerned, and if you're interested in learning more you might start by reading some profiles, or asking around. I don't really think you have to worry about all that here.

Well, after mucking through all that, here's the meat of what I want to say. Please edit your uses category so that it tells me A. How many total times you can use it in a battle, and B. How frequently it can be used.

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[Speed]
[Ceil has the ability to move at enhanced speeds for a set amount of time, and normally only uses this time in conjuction with his first ability. Speed however can be used multiple times in a battle with a cool down of 10 seconds (average of two posts) and thus is seen more often then that of his Sonic Cut. This speed also gives him enhanced reflexes and even aerial combat to a point. Being able to move freely within a set scope or area, this is only enhanced by his lithe body. He CANNOT fly though and is only able to uses solid surfaces to jump from.]

Strength: intermediate
Uses: Passive

*nod* Another good ability, and another one that will be fun to look over.

First, please change Strength category from "Intermediate" to "Moderate". It just helps keep everyone straight on what's happening and how.

Second, I'm looking at your Uses again, and there seems to be a small discrepancy between what you say in your ability description, and what you list under the Uses. You list it as a passive ability, which would mean that it is always active, and he's always moving at increased speed. However, in your description you say that he can only use it for periods of time, and that there's a cool down.
Your options as I see them are: consistently above-average speed (passive), or bursts of above-above-average speed (cooldown stuff).

I should also point out that we do stuff in "Turns". A "Turn" being the distance between one of your posts, and the next one. For example, you might use an ability that uses a One Turn Cooldown". That would hash out like this:

Mikey Firesword used Firebolt!
Player X blocked.
Mikey Firesword can't use Firebolt this turn since it's cooling down; he does something else.
Player X does something.
Mikey Firesword uses-Blah blah blah.


Last but not least, I need to point a little bit more out. How fast does this ability make him? How large is the area of midair movement? How good do his reflexes become?

Concerning Your History
I'm going to talk to someone about your history. We have a rule against the mentions of canon characters in one's history. But I feel your history is fine, and distant enough that it ought to be accepted. I just thought I should let you know you may have to remove it.

[High's .Valentine.]

Been one week.

Please PM a staff member if you wish to have the character move out of the denied board.

But for now...

DENIED[/font]