"Oh, my little piggy audition!"

[Ryu-star!]

Username
Ryu-star!

Current Canons
Yuna, Yuffie, Tifa, Axel.

Canon you're auditioning for
The Dark Lord Chuckles, the Silly Piggy!

Media Canon is from
Dave the Barbarian.

Is the current canon taken?
Bahaha. Is this a serious question?

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"Our story begins with-"

"Yes, yes, we get the point!" Replied Chuckles – sorry, the Dark Lord Chuckles, the Silly Piggy, glaring in the general direction of the storyteller he, incidentally, couldn’t see. Grumbling to himself about incompetent narrators who really needed to be pushed down a well, the dark lord went back to what he was doing.

Observing Udrogoth, if you must know.

Hands – er, hooves – planted firmly on his hips, the piggy’s brow furrowed in concentration.

Now that he thought about it, his many attempts at destroying the kingdom – and, in turn, that accursed barbarian, his irritating sister, fat uncle and pet monkey – had failed, for reasons that he had yet to figure out. How could ingenious plans such as the evil sofa, or the pretzel men have failed? How?

And certainly, he had to come up with some way to stop his plans from failing. Sure, losing every once in a while wasn’t all that bad – it often led to lulling his foes into a false sense of security, of course – but he wasn’t sure if his little piggy body parts could take such torture?

He’d been stepped on, crushed, mashed, and almost eaten. And that was just unacceptable.

Stomping his little piggy hooves one after another, he glared down at the kingdom below him.

Though his staring didn’t last long.

The sound of scurrying feet behind him caught the little piggy’s attention – he wasn’t very fond of being snuck upon on, mind you, it often led to aforementioned harm to his little piggy body parts – and he whirled around, his absolutely fabulous cape moving with him. He was facing a weird little black creature – a piggy that was inked upon, perhaps – who was just looking at him, and twitching occasionally.

And while anyone else would’ve just ignored such creatures – or, in the case of adventurers, who knew what the Heartless were, poke them with a sword and have it disappear, Chuckles couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

"Bwahahahamahawalahabadabahala!"

See?

Confused by the strange sound the dark lord was making – which sounded like a strange cross between a donkey dying and a tree falling in the forest (which does make a sound, even if nobody can hear it, for your information) – the Heartless came closer.

And closer.

And bopped poor Chuckles right on the nose.

And while a bop on the nose by the teensiest of Heartless might not seem like a big deal to you or me, the dark lord wasn’t about to let such a thing slide.

His eyes blazing with the intensity of a thousand suns - a thousand and two, if you wanna get all technical – the dark lord leapt backwards, pulling an ancient red amulet from… wherever he pulls thing the thing from. Actually, that’s a good question. Where does he pull that thing from.

"Who knows?"

Thanks, storyteller. You’re lots of help.

Right, back to the story.

"Bow before the might of the ancient amulet of Hogswineboar!" A flash of light.

And the Heartless was… still there?

Still there, and… surrounded by children!?

[/i]

Who promptly began laughing their butts off at the adorable little – I mean sinister, very, very sinister – dark lord.

"Stop it! You dare laugh at me!? You shall not defeat me, vile children!" With that, he went to raise the amulet once more – not to smite, the children, of course. Oh no, that would just not do. Far too much paperwork involved – only to be completely ignored and hugged by countless snot-nosed brats, who seemed intent on ruining his cape.

What awful children.

That cape was made of real silk!

Oh, they were so going to pay to get that dry cleaned.[/blockquote]

[Beaver Dude]

After some wiki:

1/2 accepted

[yami]

With no need to Wiki because I recall the show and our overlord quite well...2/2 get on this. More people need to bring Disney Cartoons in.