Shadow of Darkness

[Rocket!]

Username: rocketage
Current canons: Stitch!, IV. Vexen, Olette (Homework Crusader!), Agent P, Madam Mim
Canon you're auditioning for: Heartless Ansem
Media canon is from: Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
Is the current canon taken?: No, sir!
Audition post:

WUMF

A black and soiled body fell to the grey ground, covered by a brown cloak, writhing in the pain of expulsion.

But at this point, there was little indeed to worry on.

This was a different variety of world than that grey citadel in The World That Never Was. Not borne of the empty Nothingness, but the true nature of Darkness... this was a Heartless haven.

Black and blue was the dumped creature. Breathing heavily, allowing the Darkness so palpable that it was in the very air, to enter his body. It was rest, of a kind. It allowed strength to ferment in the weary body.

This was a world born of the Hearts of all worlds. The End of the World, a crater of Darkness, and the prime resting place of many a Heartless.

It was a little on the dusty side... but still very much serviceable.

"Grrchkl..."

A groan. The tired Heartless was still regaining full use of it's facilities. Being expulsed so forcefully by that device... though infinitely useful, it produced no small amount of pain on the Heartless' part.

Perhaps it had something to do with the boy keeping some of his Darkness.

Teeth, forming in the concave of a fast growing mouth, formed. As they drew back in an rage induced sneer, the pallid shine of the teeth became extremely clear to any who might have passed. White as a blade just off the blacksmith's forge.

Riku.

An invaluable tool like no other. A Keyblade Bearer, of all people, to fall into Darkness... with such a phenomenal tool, all things should have been made possible.

But control.

A fist slammed unconsciously into the hardened ground, only just formed for the sake. It quickly took on white color as the first semblance of clothing began to address the Heartless.

"Loyaaa..."

A second stab at the vocal chords. Far more successful, but of no use just yet...

Control! There was no control!

Three times, the boy had scorned him. Three times too many.

But even this nightmarish Heartless' yellow eyes grew ever so slightly smaller at the thought of being on the wrong side of a Keyblade.

The man shut his eyes.

Patience...

"Loyal Guardian."

At last, success in the face of unspeakable odds. Darkness, thick and deep as night, bowed over the fallen figure. Striped amongst the many folds of dark skin were stripes of white, clearly defining it as one of the strongest Heartless in existence.

A gloved hand met an open one. Ansem rose, however slowly, to his feet. Floating of any variety is out of the question-- maintaining this humanoid form was an incredible feat in and of itself.

Ansem turned a hard glare, dreams and goals swirling in his mind's eye, toward the guardian Heartless.

"Find. Me. A body."

One Corridor of Darkness later, the bestial Heartless was off.

It was magnificent, the burden of power.

Even now, half dead and supported by the hulking Heartless, as the first of the few apprentices looked up and into the endless Darkness that swathed the two Heartless in the storm of chaotic movement... a feeling of respect and envy took hold deep within Ansem's fibers.

Panel-esque swashes across the painter's tarp, showing into the lives of many across that feeble Realm of Light.

Wrinkles grew on the white gloves as they closed into fists.

Keyblades.

Time had changed much.

Keyblades.

Far more options and possibilities-- more doors-- to look into. Tools for the taking, if treated properly.

Riku could keep his paltry excuse for Darkness... and, if this new possibility came to fruition, his Keyblade.

Darkness took up all in sight once more as the corridor ended, meeting the final destination. An onslaught of raging night upon a single spot, drawing forth Ansem and his Loyal Guardian.

Ansem's feet reached macadam. The wind, still riding high from it's own travels through the Sea of Stars on a forbidden route, flared the great and open cloak at Ansem's back like a dramatic cape beating in tune to an unheard military tune.

Time was on his side. Darkness, a never dying source of power, would always be able to bring him back into the realm of the living.

So to speak. Hmmph.

Taking the brown shawl, Ansem took on a more unassuming shape. A simpler one, one of more basic shape... one better suited for the deed not yet done.

"Go." he ordered. "Find the door."

Loyal as ever, the Guardian departed.

Now.

Ansem turned for the shadows.

It's time to see to these wounds of mine...


---


It didn't take long.

A shadow passed over the sidelong passage. A body-- not yet broken-- fell to the ground in a heaping mass of muscle.

Muscle?

Ansem, covered by the shawl, waited aside... out of sight.

The man was little more than a muscle bound, self absorbed neanderthal. If there was ever a body less fit for use than the whelp...

Not that there was much of an option... far too much was at stake. This needed to be handled... delicately.

The Guardian swooped in from the sky, following behind the fallen body. It's face was marred with the anger Ansem himself bore internally.

The human was starting to panic. Rightfully so. But still.

Ansem leaned forward, allowing the streaks of light from the day's sky to come down on the dull brown shawl covering the floating being enshadowed by the same shawl.

Right on cue, the Guardian reached the ground. Now truly in a panic, the human started backing away for the wall.

"Begone, beast..."

The Guardian froze. The human did likewise.

"You will trouble this one no longer..."

The Guardian was unamused.

Ignoring Ansem entirely, it shot forward once more for the human.

FWK

Faster than sight itself might lead you to believe, the cloaked individual instantly stood as a mediator for the two, something resembling hands protruding from under the burlap. The Guardian struggled under the sudden ward, but continued to push forward.

"Listen..."

The human-- male, somewhat tall, but very much another teenager-- eagerly looked to his newfound savior.

"There is power within you... power far surpassing any other..."

[/i]

He ate this right up. There was no alternative, of course... humans always seem to be under the strange assumption that they are truly superior to all else... even their own kind.

Fools. All the better for the taking.

"That energy, nested deep within yourself... do you feel it knocking at your Heart's door?"[/i]

A hesitant nod answered.

There is no need to tell you just what power was slowly worming it's way into his Heart. You already know it.

"Submit to the power."

A pallid tone of fear crept into the boy's face.

But of course, as the darkness already in his Heart stirred, it was far too late. The taste of Darkness, the thought of supremacy and power, was enough for this seeker of Darkness to press his way in.

There was some small struggle. His will was virtually non-existent.

"SubMIT!"

A wash of darkness. The entryway to his very being couldn't have been more open if you took a bulldozer to it.

And so, as a far more familiar shape took hold of the boy's body, Ansem found a foothold in the Realm of Light once more... Darkness was to have it's day far sooner than any one was to realize...[/blockquote][/size]

[Heroic Bilby]

I love Ansem. He's currently my favourite KH villian, and I doubt BBS will change that but I'll still have to wait and see on that one. Still, little would give me greater pleasure than seeing his diabolical hand at work again on our humble little forum under the lead of a capable Role-Player.

Which is why it gives me great sadness to give this audition a denial. Sorry Rocket, but even with the situation he's been placed in I just don't see the greatest of the Heartless in there. The real persona he projects with his ego... it just doesn't seem to be properly tapped. This felt like a completely different recovering villain and not the Seeker of Darkness. I guess that's all I can say.

1/2 Denied

[Beaver Dude]

Huhn. And here I was about to say that this was much closer to game Ansem than I'm used to seeing. As Bilby hasn't really told us the specifics of what he wants to see, I guess I can leave my description all vague and stuff too.

Oh, who am I kidding. >>

-The resurrection scene isn't the easiest to write and this one was done particularly well. Ignoring, for the moment, characterization which seems to be at the heart of Bilby's criticism, it manages to do everything a good rez scene should: it provides an explanation, it provides context, and it displays the monumental effort it takes to carry the act out without descending into too much self-indulgence. And it does all this with some panache, might I add. A very well crafted scene indeed.

-I'm ignoring the fact that he's supposed to be deader-than-something-really-dead. If this were a fanfic I'd be judging it differently. But your constraints were such that he had to be alive someway, somehow. Shhhhh.

-On the subject of characterization: I myself an not certain what element of the audition didn't meet Bilby's requirements. Intuition is not communicable (leastwise, not by internet) so I'm going to have to wing it a bit. I believe main issue he has with your audition is that if you replaced the external stuff: Riku, the guardian, the fact that he's a Heartless, this particular depiction could be of a different villain. Let's ignore the fact that as interesting as he his, he's not Macbeth or even M'Choakumchild. If Bilby is suggesting that Ansem would not do what he has done in your audition... well, then, we're fundamentally at odds with our interpretation of Heartless Ansem who I can easily see doing such things and thinking such thoughts.

-If we stick to my first interpretation: personally, I don't think it's an issue. Primarily because without a swagger (a la Captain Jack Sparrow) or an accent (a la Lumière of Beauty and the Beast fame) or general insanity that strides so far from the norm as to appear completely unintelligible (a la Kefka) it's not really easy to get away from character archetypes unless you've got a hundred thousand words to explore and play with your characters. This is a forum audition, I don't think we should expect so much. Evil, monologuing villain who says cryptic things and looks all-powerful? Now where have I seen that before...

-Secondarily, I don't think this is a problem that's particular easily to solve - none of the KH villains are particularly 'unique' - and I admit that I cop out most of the time and insert details that depend on me making things up. Flashbacks, memories, etc. This, for many reasons that I find quite reasonable, can't truly be done with Heartless Ansem: he's simply not that sort of character. You referenced Riku, but in the primary-thought-process way, not an out-of-the-detail way. And that's the way I see Heartless Ansem: focused, dedicated, and evil.

And so for all of the rambly reasons written above (and then some, I've only stopped writing because I really, really kinda need to go to bed),

1/2 approved

[lysander]

I call next vote.

[lysander]

2/2 Denied.

"It was a little on the dusty side... but still very much serviceable." This is where this audition lost it for me.

There are so very many things to say. So very few that should be said. I will not put up a shield, rebuking Dei's opinions, as this is not Dei's audition. So I will speak directly to your audition and its weaknesses.

One such thing is that your dialog does not reflect Ansem. Reading just the dialog, I would think it were coming out of Maleficent's mouth before Ansem's (until you got to the 'Submit' which is decidedly a mark of Ansem). Listen to his voice. He is eloquent, and speaks with absolute authority. He is calm and contemplative. He tells you a story, and with finesse, too. He is a persuasive speaker, and uses his voice very well' emphasizing word order, repetition, and vocabulary with his vocal style (all of which Billy Zane does a great job with). His voice is a major part of him. His cutscenes in KH1 are great examples, and I understand he appears in CoM as well, which is worth the look.

And then, his physical presence is important. When we first see him, Ansem is cloaked in the shadows, standing away. He holds himself composed, yet he does not appear stiff or forced. He is at ease in his utter superiority. And following this, whenever we see him, Ansem is the same. Even with his arms folded over his chest, he does not appear as if he is trying to be intimidating, like a bouncer. He looks as though he is weighing you, evaluating your existence. He does not flail widely, nor does he make sharp sudden acts. He is graceful and royal and impressive. He doesn't slam his fist down on the ground in frustration, he doesn't knit his brow, he doesn't tense up. Even when the light of Kingdom Heart erases his existence, as he stares directly into it he does not shy away or strain.

Even on the verge of death, when he is tensest, physically and mentally exhausted, and having taken a thorough beating, his voice is still smooth and his body does not try. It accomplishes. He's a mix of surprised and curious by the end, not gripping on to life or trying to defeat his enemies with one final blow.

In his actions; again I think you have misplaced his passion. I said before that Ansem does not slam his fist on the ground, and he doesn't. He is patient, and his failures do not bother him. He observes things with an interest, and places things well. He is clever, and again, he is patient. When you fight him, you never actually fight him. You fight a heartless minion that he supports. And once he tires from that fight, and his tactics have proved insufficient, he changes things. He brings forth another heartless, this time a much stronger one, and he rests.

I can not picture Ansem saying the word Neanderthal. Maybe Whelp. But he is not arrogant. He does not rise, nor does he fall from himself. Ansem is, and always will be, ambitions and a (and I hate the use of this term in this circumstance) mad scientist. He doesn't think of himself as a god while he strives for power.

This is Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness, the most powerful heartless to ever exist, nay, the most powerful being of darkness, to ever exist. Is this really the same character?

I've already said a lot, and I don't know what else I would say to prove my point. Many things I suppose. I could tell you descriptive character analysis in a multitude of words, but I think that what I have said is appropriate.

I liked this sentence:
"There is no need to tell you just what power was slowly worming it's way into his Heart. You already know it."