Jack Sparrow

[angelous]

Username: Angelus
Current canons: Merlin, Roxas, Irvine, Doofenshmirtz
Canon you're auditioning for: Jack Sparrow
Media canon is from: kh2
Is the current canon taken?: nope
Audition post (400 words minimum):

(In the not so distant future...)

"Wait a second." Jack had to make sure this was right.

"So you mean to tell me that you haven't heard of Captain Jack Sparrow?" The person he was talking to assured him this was true. Jack turned to the bartender.

"Get me a bottle of rum." He looked at his new companion. "A big one." He was going to tell this rather large fellow about himself. He would tell this guy how he managed to stop Davy Jones, and before that, what seemed to be an army of the damned. Exaggerations truth be told, but they believable if said right. That and if this guy had ingested enough rum.

The question you might be asking yourself is probably along the lines of why is Jack Sparrow, captain of one of the most renowned ships in the Caribbean going through all of this trouble just because someone says they don't know of him? Well, that was precisely why. That and this guy was supposed to know the location of a rather large amount of gold. His tales would warm the guy up to him, and the rum, well, that was to help words spill out. He took a swig of rum, and allowed the guy to do the same.

"A year ago a pirate by the name of Barbossa and his crew attacked the town of Port Royal. They abducted the governor's daughter, and left for the Isla de Muerta. These pirates weren't ordinary pirates." He paused briefly, as he took another drink. "They were cursed. You see they appeared to be normal humans like the two of us, but under the light of the moon they were revealed to be skeletons, but they were not dead. But they were not living either." He took another drink.

"I managed to commandeer a ship, and with the help of four others we went to Isla de Muerta and rescued the woman, and ended the curse afflicting those pirates. In the end Barbossa was killed, and the Aztec gold that caused their curse was hidden where nobody would find it." His companion took another drink.

"A few months ago Davy Jones came to add me to his crew. I had made a deal with him some time ago, and in exchange, I would join his crew at the end of the set time limit. But instead of going with him, I sent Will Turner, a companion of mine with him instead." Another drink.

"At that point myself and his woman Miss Swan..." Jack said miss loosely here, she was far from the prim and proper portrayal he was used to seeing. "At that point we journeyed to find Davy Jones' heart. We managed to find it, and well, we stabbed it and ended his life." The duo took another drink.

"Or rather a dying Will Turner stabbed it." Jack stood up.

"Now that you have heard of my deeds, perhaps you have heard of me, maybe not by name, but by my actions." His companion shook his head no. Jack frowned. He leaned over his companion's shoulder.

"Then would you kindly tell me the location of the treasure you are said to know about?" Jack then shook the bottle of rum in front of his companion's face. The man took it, and told him what he wanted to know.

"I thank you kind sir." He turned around. "Enjoy your drink, and if you aren't too drunk when you're done, wash yourself. You smell like really bad eggs." He walked out of the bar, and began to make his way back to his ship. He didn't get far though, as a handful of British soldiers stopped him. He drew his gun, and cockeded it.

"Sorry gentlemen but I have a treasure to find." He shot the only lantern that lit up this dark street, and once unseen, he snuck his way past them. After he put enough distance between them and himself to ensure his escape, he turned around and shouted.

"Remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!" He turned back toward the docks and ran. He had what he came for, now it was time to find the treasure. He promised Will he would, as his future depended on his "friend". The Ruby Heart was Will's only hope at being freed from his task as the new shepherd of souls. He made it back to the Black Pearl, and shouted at his crew.

"Raise anchor and set sail due east!" He made it onto the ship just as it began to pull away from the dock.

"We've a treasure to find. And a friend to save. Savvy?" He took his position at the wheel. If any danger presented itself he hoped his crew could handle it. If not, then he hoped that one of them was smart enough to grab the wheel when he went to deal with it. They couldn't afford to waste any time. Not when they weren't the only ones looking for the Ruby Heart.

[Beaver Dude]

You made him talk waaaaaaaaay too much which is good because Jack's made of awesome dialogue (and monologue), but it also revealed a crucial weakness: your Jack's really not particularly in character. Rum and words-taken-from-the-script does not a Jack Sparrow make.

Jack's original. He's flamboyant. He's funny. A great deal of his act is visual (the stagger, the appearance, the body language) but you have to convince the reader that you can step into his mindset or at least have the verbal nuances down somewhat. I'm sorry to say I don't see it here, especially not in the story he tells.

Jack's big on the talk and the charm but as a raconteur he's definitely a big fat lying turd. Well maybe not big or fat, but he's certainly a smelly, lying fishcake with no morals. He doesn't do the talk-talk thing like normal people. He confuses, he alarms, he entertains, he performs. You've made him the protagonist of the story he weaves, but Jack wouldn't stick to the near-truth. At least not as we've seen him - even when yelling orders he's usually incomprehensible. The way I would see it, Sparrow would flat out lie. Possibly in several directions at once possibly without and possibly with contradictions.

How'd he escape from the island he was marooned on the first time? With turtles. And rope made of hair.

How does he explain the need to get a key for a chest that's drawn on a map towards a heading he doesn't want to take? Quite simple, he doesn't. But does anyway, all at the same time by telling Gibbs that he doesn't make any sense when it's really Jack Sparrow that's not making any sense.

etc. etc. etc.

(He's also a lying fetcher who only has his best interests at heart and wouldn't lift a finger to help Turner unless he could fool himself into believing that there'd be treasure for hisself in that thar direction, but I'm going to remember that a ) Disney and b ) Kingdom Hearts so I would have let you get away with making him nicer but I'm afraid you're going to have to show a little more Jack Sparrow than what we've seen here.)

So in summary: you need to show more of Sparrow's character. Not his words, but the logic (or lack thereof) that underpins them. You need more spontaneity, more fleshing and above all more characterization which means more risks. Jack Sparrow is not an easy character to play or write and knowing that I'm not trying to make this seem like an impossible audition, but if you want to have Jack you're going to have to put him in a situation where he isn't in control, where there isn't a quote fresh from the script that's ready for taking, where you're going to have to invent a little, pretend a little and so on. This isn't a bad audition by any stretch of the imagination - but by the same token it's really not enough.

For the reasons above, I hereby declare this audition:

1/2 denied

Better luck with the next mods!

[seraph]

This is a bit of a strange audition. Throughout the whole thing it appeared as if you were just re telling the whole story. Dei has pretty much summed up everything I wanted to say. Everything about it seemed really...odd.

Basically...it just wasn't Jack. You need to take everything Dei has taken on board.

If it makes you feel any better I feel Jack is one of the hardest characters to portray.

Keep at it and good luck next time.

2/2 Denied