Ardamus

[timtank]

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~Basic info~

Behind every great individual, there is that voice which keeps them going onward and toward their next great adventure. [/center][/i]

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Username ~ :Timtank

Other characters ~ :none

Is this character canon? ~ : no

Link to audition thread ~ :

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~Character Info~

Waking up in the morning, your thoughts are cluttered. It takes a moment for you to fully become aware of your surroundings, but once you do, everything about your life comes back to you.[/center][/b][/i]

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Name ~ :Ardamus

Age ~ :19

Birthplace ~ : twilight town

Gender ~ :male

Race ~ :human

Special Class ~ :summoner

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~Appearance~

As you are heading out the door of your house, a small glimmer of light catches your eye. You turn around and see a mirror, putting you face to face with your reflection.

[/b][/i]

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Physical appearance s.bebo.com/app-image/7925098786/5411656627/PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/04/7d338a86.jpg



Clothing/Accessories ~ : He has on a full outfit.it is more like a black coat with chains as a belt and armored shoes. he also has black jean like pants under the black coat.his coat also has a hood. Also black gloves.

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~Personality~


As you're walking through the door, you see many sights that influence your mood. The different feelings that suddenly wash over you are many, leaving you with a strange mix of emotions.

[/i]

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Alignment ~ : neutral thinks he is doing good but is really doing work of evil most of the time.

Personality~He is very kind to humans all the time.He comes off as a good man with a good heart always trying to help others. He trys to fight and kill heartless and nobodys who make things hard on the world. He protects humans everywere.it is rare when he is even willing to fight a person.he hates heartless and nobodys. He Just fights them.he thinks he is doing a good think by trying to keep kingdomhearts from being made by destroying hearts from heartless and nobodys.But what he is really doing is a bit evil.




Behavior ~ :~He is very kind to other humans almost all the time.when it comes to heartless and nobodys he can be cold, disrespectful, angry, and always ready to kill. He hates heartless more then anything and hates the idea of a kingdom heart being made.He feels kingdom hearts are to powerful and must not be made.He is always happy but just mad and ready for battle.So he is willing to fight heartless and nobodys at every turn.

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~Weapons~

Suddenly, a Heartless appears in front of you, brandishing its claws and threatening to attack. You reach for your weapon and equip it, ready to defend yourself.

[/i][/b]

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Primary Weapon(s)

ID: heart eatter war blade
Quality: Average
It has a ornate double-fanned hand guard and it has a axe blade on the guard area. the blade is also a double edge blade very sharp and a bit thin. the blade has the power to destroy hearts when killing heartless or humans. It can also make floting energy blades like double edge swords and send them flying at targets.

Secondary Weapon(s)

ID:katana
Quality: Average
a normal Katana the weapon he used before the heart eatter.

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~Abilities~

Just as you're about to fight the creature, you feel the power of your ancestors filling you. The strength of a thousand men courses through your veins as you prepare for battle.

[/i][/b]

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AP left:0


Dark magic: He has power over darkness after gaining the heart eatter. He can also use use the Corridor of Darkness to travel different worlds with his dark magic powers. He can also cast powerful attacks with this but using with the heart eatter.Dark magic is much more powerful with this.
Strength: Moderate
Uses: none cooldown of 1 post

Super human powers (shadow speed)
He has the power to jump 45 feet into the sky or move up to 45 feet in blindind speed at about 10-20 mph up to 45ft.
Strength: Weak
Uses: no usage limit cool down of 2 post






Items

1.

2.


Equips

1.

2.

3.


Special Abilities

N/A


Minions

N/A


Summons

Name: blood dragon

Appearance:
The summon looks like a 70 feet tall black and red dragon with fangs the color of steel. it has bright red eyes and big black wings.This dragon has a lot of bolk and tone. It has a long tail about 40 feet long with red hard spikes all over the tails tip.

Abilities:

AP: 0

Fire
Allows the user to shoot a head-sized fireball (his head) at high speed from his mouth.

Strength: moderate
Uses: no limit 1 post cooldown

fire blast
shoots a very powerful blast of fire with a wide attack area to take out a target.It burns the area and deals moderate fire damage to the targets.

Strength: strong
Uses:10 per battle 2 post cooldown

fire spin
shots many smaller fireballs the size of a normal persons head. it covers a wide area as it fires.
Strength: moderate
Uses:10 per battle

Invisible
The user cannot be seen and dispels the opponent's natural awareness. All other senses can pick the user up. Abilities are not made invisible. One time use per battle and lasts 3 posts.

Strength: moderate
Uses:3 per battle last 1 post



Elemental Resistance: fire

Elemental Weakness: water

History: none made as part of the heart eatter war blade.

[/blockquote]

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~History~

As you slay the last of the beasts, you put your weapon aside, and walk away, knowing your tale of bravery will be told for thousands of years to come.

[/b][/i]

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Ardamus was like any kid in his town playful friendly and easy to talk to like any other. He had a kind heart then heartless started to attack and make trouble. He hated the heartless and started to attack them. He could not ever bet any and then a big number of shadows attacked him one day at the age of 18. He ran away and they shadows stayed on his tail all around the town.

He soon made it into the forest of twilight town and the shadows followed.He was soon traped by 8 shadows and they were ready to attack.Then a man showed up and saved him.He cut down all the shadows with one hit each and then after he helped ardamus get away the man was blind sided by a darkside heartless.The man was fighting the best he could protecting Ardamus and fighting the heartless at the same time.Soon the man was killed and his weapon was the only thing left. Ardamus picked up the sword and saw the history of the man and the sword. He used this sword to end the darkside himself.After he trained to use the weapon and now knows about kingdom hearts and heartless and feels like the man who protected him they must save the world from the evil of heartless and nobodys.

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~Class~

Before you embark on your journey a vision comes upon you. You see three weapons in front of you.

~ A sword of terrible destruction - The power of the warrior: Invincible courage.

~ A shield to repel all - The power of the guardian: Kindness to aid friends.

~ A staff of wonder and ruin - The power of the mystic: Inner strength.

You know that one of them must be chosen. What power will you seek?

[/b]
I pick the great sword

[Insert choice here]

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~Other~

[Put anything else you want to say about your character in here.]

[angelous]

Not a moderator, but something you should know...

Summoner is not a pickable class from the three weapons. You can pick the warrior, mage, or defender. Summoner is a special class, as you have already figured out. You still need to pick one of the three weapons as well.

Just figured I'd point that out before a staff member gets to this.

[timtank]

ready for it to be looked at

[timtank]

i am done its been almost a mouth

[lysander]

It's not been almost a month, it's been almost ten days, and as far as your last edit is concerned, only two days.

The quality of this profile is highly lacking, and clearly evidences that you haven't paid attention to the setup we have around here. Your profile has some serious formatting issues, your abilities are copy-pastes from the shop, grammar is not present. If you plan on sticking around you have some serious work to do, and to help you, if you choose to, I've included all of the links that would be important to this character.

• Basic Rules
  
• Final Mix Flash Guide This will cover all the basics of character creation, although it takes a little while to load.
  
• Character Template There is a part of this that says Code above it. Copy/paste that to fill out, not the profile/details above.
  
• Necessary Information for Summoners, and other special classes.
  
• Necessary Information on Summons
  
• This is the summon template, which goes in the character template, as you have done.

[timtank]

done with this now and ready to be approved.

[Draconas]

I may not be a Cmod, but I know what does and doesn't pass.

And your abilities are too powerful for Weak abilities. Please, remember to run spell check, and fix any coding errors. Physical appearance is your physical appearance, please edit that accordingly.

Please check through, reread and make certain that you have used proper English at all points. Your weapon cannot have abilities on it itself, unless you purchase weapon enhancements. You weapon is a regular weapon, with no abilities, unless you spend the munny necessary to make it otherwise, or are the Tech class(correct me if I'm wrong about the class, I've not made one myself).

Please and thank you, Tim. Remember, I'm not a Cmod, but I know what I am talking about all the same.

[lysander]

Draconas is correct on all counts. Additionally, half the abilities used in this profile are primarily item descriptions in the shops.

You have to write your own material.

[timtank]

Ok done with it now

[timtank]

its all done I added more.

[Rocket!]

Sorry for the delay, buddeh! Gimme just a few minutes to look over what you've got here, an' we can get this thing approved ASAP!

OKAY SO LET'S GET THIS SHINDIG MOVING

CHARACTER APPEARANCE

Ah, nifty pic of the guy! I'm afraid, though, that I gotta ask you fill in a few sentences on the guy's physical appearance. Nothing too hefty, no worries, just enough to get a good idea of his whole appearance, not just from the waist up!

CHARACTER PERSONALITY

Okay. Okay. So he's pretty much on the skinny-- very much a heroic sorta fellow, stepping in at all times to give a helping hand to his pals, the humans, and very eager to give a good thrashing to any Heartless or Nobodies.

But what makes him tick? What's his favorite food, does he enjoy bowling on Thursday nights, is he all aloof an' mysterious, does he like to mess with other people?

You've done a good enough job saying just what his attitudes are towards the various enemies, but that's not necessarily all there is to a character.

You don't have to, but it'd be nice if you added a little more to Ardamus' personality.

Also, just me being curious here, but how are Heartless bashing and general evilness related?

WEAPONRY

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.

Feb 9, 2010 23:18:38 GMT -5 timtank said:

ID: heart eatter war blade
Quality: Average
It has a ornate double-fanned hand guard and it has a axe blade on the guard area. the blade is also a double edge blade very sharp and a bit thin. the blade has the power to destroy hearts when killing heartless or humans. It can also make floting energy blades like double edge swords and send them flying at targets.

Okay, ummmm... destroying Hearts is pretty much a no-no, I'm willin' to bet. And floating energy blades should reeeeally be an ability.

Gotta ask you remove the bit about destroying Hearts, and either find a way to make an ability for the energy blades or remove them entirely.

Also, the secondary weapons-- like Ardamus' katana-- don't get Qualities. This is 'cause they can't get abilities-- only the Primary one does. Please go ahead and remove the Quality portion of katana's description.

ABILITIES

*scratches head*

Alright, first up is the Moderate ability Dark Magic.

It's problem is that it's too vague. It's not specific enough. I have no idea just what it's trying to do.

If what you're trying to go for is awesome awe inspiring Darkness abilities and spells you can create on a whim all thanks to that one ability, then I'm afraid you're outta luck on that one. We don't allow abilities to be quite so broad, I'm afraid.

Please rewrite Dark Magic so that I know just what exactly you're trying to have it do. I can't approve-- or really critique-- an ability when I dunno what it does. XD

Alright, next is the Weak ability Super Human Powers!

Hmmmm...

Alright, I'm still seeing High Jump Lv2 in here. Weren't you scolded for that earlier, mister? xD

Now, for a quick definition!

Weak is just what it sounds like.

Weak.

Not really strong or all that impressive.

Jumping 45 feet into the air falls under Moderate at least.

Weak abilities also can't have more than one function. This means it can't be both super jumping and super speed. You're gonna have to pick one thing that it can do, not multiple ones.

You're gonna have to remove the High Jump Lv2 portion of the ability (or make it different enough that it isn't really a copy of that same Equip), and edit the ability so that it can only serve one function.

BLOOD DRAGON SUMMON

__appearance____
Whooooo. 70 feet high. Isn't that, like, seven stories up? I think there's an unspoken rule somewhere that we don't go beyond four...

Can't confirm it, though. XD Brezz, oh pal o' mine, can you gimme a ruling on the matter?

__abilities____
First up is Fire.

It's a copy of the equip Fire I. Huge, and limits the location it can fire from, but yeah. So, uhm, please edit, change, or remove the ability.

Fire Blast!
How wide is the attack area? Actual distances would be nice! ^^

Fire Spin!
Just how many fire balls are shot per use of the ability? Is a single use limited to one round, or is it spread over multiple rounds?

Invisible!
Agaaaaaaaaaaaain? XD
Please remove this copy of an equip!

FINALLY

Alright, Sir Timtank! You've got some shapin' up to do, buster! Save various portions of your profile that're copied from other places on the Internet, you look to be having some trouble with that whole "grammar" thing. From now on, I hiiiiiiiiiiiiighly recommend using the Spell Check-- that button just to the right of "Post Reply" or "Modify Post". It'll seriously help anyone reading your posts understand what you're trying to get at, especially for some of those finer details like in Dark Magic up above, okay?

That said, welcome to Final Mix! Name's Rocket, Resident Boss Quest Master! If you ever need anything, just holler[/url], okay? ^^